- Posted by:
- xxkisamexx
- Rank: #42
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Looking up further details on this we've come to the conclusion that it was a Drugged Up Face Munching. The "Zombie" in question was, according to autopsy information we could find, contaminated with Bath Salts. Bath Salts cause hallucinations, and often violent and easily driven into combat. The victim was a 65 year old man, and the attack lasted for around 18 minutes before police arrived. Multiple calls were phoned in, however nobody stopped and attempted to help. Out of everything in the story, we find that fact to be the most disturbing.
Also, we would like to point out that of the bullets fired by police into the attacker, none of them were headshots. As we of the internet all know, only headshots will stop a zombie. This isn't the zombie apocolpyse, and if it is they are doing a damn good job of covering it up so far.
Sources:
www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/29/2822971/new-video-shows-more-grisly-detail.html
austin.culturemap.com/newsdetail/05-29-12-16-44-miami-zombie-identified-after-autopsy-explanations-offered-for-face-eating-behavior/
WARNING: GRAPHIC PICTURES: NOT AT ALL SAFE FOR WORK LINK!!!
socialmediaseo.net/2012/05/29/miami-zombie-attack-pictures/
www.alltreatment.com/what-are-bath-salts
======
"...Destroys internal organs and alters brain waves to make you crave human flesh."
...Fucking seriously? Destroys Internal Organs? Were that true, how would they be able to continue to operate. That wouldn't even be a threat, they'd just fall over dead and we wouldn't even have to waste bullets. Scary zombies, those ones that die over time... Also, Human Flesh has a very specific taste, one that most humans are unfamiliar with. We are left wondering why it would be so specific, rather then stating it causes a feeling of intense starvation and impairs judgement skills.
"It Also causes Necrotizing fasciitas..." Well way to just throw that in at the last second and try to make it sound more grounded in science. It would have been more believable to say it was directly linked to the same parasite which causes African Nodding Disease, which mentally retards it's victims.
If anyone has any luck finding the original image of this post's home, and not some retarded tumblr or ask.yahoo about "LQP-79", put the link up here. We looked and that's all we found.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet and Sharenator, coming from no reputable websites near you...
...The Theatrical Radio Presentation of War of the Worlds.