i will start it of from the being Austin Texas
1 - 4 grades. i was the only white kid on my street. i had some friends and many bullies. i would spend most of the time my time riding my bike until it was stolen we bought 7 more bikes that were stolen the very first day we had got them. i started getting picked on by neghbro kids who had nothing better to do with their time but pick on someone who was a different race. my brother told me once that if i could see my ribs that i was to skinny so i started eating a lot and got fat. during first grade i made a friend named Ivan my only friend till forth grade i ad about 5 more people start bulling me. by this time in my life i was bullied so much i just thought that it was natural for people to get bullied so often. around 3rd grade i wore girls paints one day so the name stuck with me until i moved to Kile Texas after 4th grade. my friend of the family that was like a grand mom to me died over the summer in her sleep i still feel said when i think about it.
i was bullied non stop at this hell hole i had 4 friends Caleb and two more i cant remember. (Caleb is my 'bro' now) i believed everything my dad said was true which made me sound like i was a dumb retarded drunk. i was bullied for smelling really bad even thought i didnt. my mom got hospitalized for a thing that could almost kill her it happened to be right around the time we had a science fair my teacher herself tore me down by calling me a failure in front of the whole class because i didnt do my project. even when my mom and dad told them that she did almost die she didnt care.
7th grade i am skipping 6th grade i dont remember much
during my 7th grade year my life started to turn around i got my friend and i had one bullie that only did it every once in a while.
i felt like i was afficly in hell i was one of the only white kids there. i started bulling one of my friends which i still feel horable about. i was beaten down to a all time low. i realized my family didnt give a shit about my i little friends and my there was many bullies acting like i was the scum of the earth. i asked god to make it stop but it only got worst. during this time i was thinking of suicide i had ran away a lot to my friends house. near the end of the year is said fuck it im never going to see most of these people agian i turn around on them i started breaking down there spirits crushing their hopes and dream. i was sent to the office for bulling i walked in sat down and handed her the note. she started telling why it was bad to bullie talking to me like i was 5. i blew up in her face and started telling her all the shit that my life had been. when i got home my parents started talking to me about what happened. i looked at them and said "now you give a fuck about me after all the bullshit is over." i didnt talk to them the whole summer that grade was so bad i became atheiest because of it
over the summer i found sharenator which i became active in it most of the summer.
9th grade i wasnt lonely i had friends real friends for the first time in my life but my grades suffer from haveing those freinds i almost failed fresh man year. because i was failing my friends stopped hanging out with me i felt horrible about it. i lied to sharenator to get the attention i didnt have anymore. but then even sharenator turned on me beat me down for my bad spelling treating me as if i wasnt even human. i started think of suicide agian in my life but i kept going trowing of the idea of it saying everything would be ok knowing i was the only one there for myself . during this year my house almost got burned down i told sharenator about it shit got worst. and my only love i had meet had destoryed me by never telling me that she didnt want to talk to me instead she dated some other guy a kissed him right in front of me . i still do this day want to find her and make her feel like shit and hope she as no one there for her. i had also joined a group called XY-Zone a group only in texas and only for guys only one female has joined it and was just allowed in by god father. it was is brother hood for me and the people there
over the summer i worked at a camp i was a failure there but i was accepted by everyone i worked my ass of that summer and made myself feel better.
i went back to school my 10th grade year
i felt different i realized i was more mature then most seniors. i didnt fail everything. my friends started treating me like a human. i went to my bros house for one weekend and we had some whiskey
the changing point of my life
after drinking a bit my mind became more open then it ever was i could easyly understand what they were coming from. i became more rebalios in band i started makeing band funner even though everyone else was to scared to do it. i passed all my classes. destroyed anything stopping me. i read motivational post on sharenator. i am starting to lose weight. im listing more in my classes keeping more promises then i did told of my dad when ever he tried to bring me down. i have grown wiser.
all i can say now is thank you sharenator even though i was beat down by some of you a lot more cared about me it it wasnt for this site i might not be here today
" when your stuck in a low part of you life. some people pry for a way out, other cry and wait for someone to pull them out, even more just stay there and never leave, but no one ever decides to dig them self out of it. i did dig myself out of it with little help. now i will not die till i feel my life is complete. i will not die i will not stop i will destory anything that trys to stop me from what i want to happen."