racist jokes. (they all black jokes)

Q: Why are aspirins white?
A: Because they work.

Q: How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?
A: Her brothers dick tasted funny.

Q: What has six legs and goes: "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do"?
A: Three blacks running for the elevator.

Q: What's the definition of the word "Confusion"?
A: Father's day in Harlem.

Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up and started dancing.

Q: What did God say when he saw the first black person?
A: Ooops, I burnt one!

Q: Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
A: He doesn't know he's black.

Q: Blacks took over Toys R us.
A: The renamed it to We B toys.

Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
A: It's called Nacho Mama.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a black person?
A: A Snowblower that Doesn't work!

Q: What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
A: Shit on a stick.

Q: What does an apple and a Negro have in common?
A: They both look soooo pretty hanging from a tree.

Q: How do you starve a black man?
A: Put his food stamps in his work boots.

Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
A: They have to pick cotton to get to them.

Q: What did the black women get for getting an abortion?
A: Fat cash from crime stoppers.

Q: What does a black person get for Christmas?
A: Your bike!!!

Q: How do you keep black people out of your back yard?
A: Hang one in the front!!

Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.

Q: Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
A: Because it is probably your bike.

Q: Why are black people so tall?
A: Because their knee grows.

Q: Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
A: So the birds don't shit on their lips.

Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team

Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice um.

Q: How many black people does it take to pave a road?
A: Depends on how heavy the roller is.

Q: When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
A: Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.

Q: What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
A: Batman can go to the store with out robin.

Q: What's the difference between shit and a black?
A: Eventually Shit turns white and stops stinking.

Q: Is it better to be born black or gay?
A: Black - because you don't have to tell your folks.

Q: How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An interracial couple in a car wreck.

Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: What's the definition of black foreplay?
A: Don't scream or I'll kill you.

Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Ever try and take a rib from a black.

Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the Pole?
A: The Pole because the black had to stop to write "motherfucker" on the wall.

Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.

Q: Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?
A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads.

Q: Did you hear about the new black French restaurant?
A: It's called Chez What.

Q: What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk?
A: I freed whom.

Q: What's long, black and smelly?
A: The unemployment line.

Q: Why don't blacks like blowjobs?
A: They don't like any jobs.

Q: What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese woman?
A: A broad that sucks shirts.

Q: Why do blacks raise chickens?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.

Q: How do you make a black nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A: A black and Decker pecker wrecker.

Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a drum.

Q: Why do blacks smell so bad?
A: So the blind can hate them too.

Q: How did they invent break dancing?
A: Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

Q: Why did God invent golf?
A: So white people could dress up like blacks.

Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.

Q: Why do blacks keep their fly's open?
A: In case they have to count to eleven.

Q: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A: A branch manager.

Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's day.

Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history?
A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha Fucker.

Q: How do you stop a black baby from crying?
A: Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.

Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

Q: What do you call 4 blacks in a 57 chevy?
A: Blood vessel.

Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves?
A: So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.

Q: What is black and has four legs and goes Hol De Doe, Hol De Doe?
A: Two blacks running for the elevator.

Q: Why did God invent the climax?
A: So blacks would know when to stop fucking.

Q: Why did so many blacks get killed in the war?
A: When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced.

Q: What's the definition of worthless?
A: A 7'2" black man with a small prick, that can't play basketball.

Q: What do you call a black with a new bike?
A: A thief.

Q: What do you call a black with a new caddie?
A: A better thief.

Q: Why don't black kids jump on their beds?
A: Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling.

Q: How do you get them down once they're stuck?
A: Tell Mexican kids they're pinatas.

Q: Did you hear about Klu Klux Kneivel?
A: He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.

Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
A: It is not there.

Q: What do you call a black with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: Why do black women where high heels?
A: So their knuckles don't drag.

Q: What do you call a black guys condom?
A: A duffle bag.

Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray.

Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10,000 black guys?
A: Warden.

Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?
A: The quarterback.

Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.

Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control?
A: Crime prevention.
WARNING:SOME REPOSTED SRRYS :(
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.

Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.

Q: Why do blacks burry their dead upside down?
A: Use em as bike racks.

Q: How did they improve the transportation in harlem?
A: Move the trees closer together.

Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.

Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
A: No one likes the black ones.

Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A: A rotten banana

Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
A. An auctionner

Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: 9 months.

Q: What do you call 100 black guys baried from the neck down?
A: Afroturf.

Q: Why are blacks afried of lawnmovers?
A: Beacuse it gose run nigger nigger run.

Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
A: Antique farm equipment.

Q: What do u call a black priest?
A: Holy shit

Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
A: Black Family Inside

Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn't it?

Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendent please rise.

Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

Q: What do you call 20,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
A: Cause all you have to do is RUN ... SHOOT ... and STEAL

Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
A: Stop laughing and reload

Q: What Do You call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
A: Nigger, Nigger, Nigger!!!!

Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
A: An oil spill

Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs

Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
A: Antique farm equipment.

Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths

Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A: Who cares?

Q: A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The cop!

Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big?
A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.

Q: What do you get if you search for babboon in dictionary?
A: You get a picture of Robert Mugabe.

Q: What is black, purple,and yellow?
A: A black person goin to church.

Q: How do they make roads in South Africa?
A: They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

Q: How can you tell a black person is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians?
A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!

Q: How do you break up the "Million Man March"?
A: Fly overhead with helicopters and drop job applications.

Q: Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
A: He said: "If I'ze gonna be im-po-tent, I wanna looks im-po-tant."

Q: What do they do with blacks after they die?
A: Gut them and use them as wetsuits.

Q: What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
A: Jail break

Q: What do you call 4 black guys in a car?
A: Tinted windows.

Q: Why are black ladies pocket books so big?
A: They have to put their lipstick some where.

Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?
A: A good start.

Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.

Q: What do you call a bunch of blacks falling down a hill?
A: A mudslide .

Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?
A: Your T.V

Q: What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar!

Q: What does NAACP stand for?
A: National Association of Apes Called People

Q: What do you call a black guy with a fan?
A: Antique air conditioner

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.

Q: What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck?
A: A good days hunting.

Q: What do you call one black on the moon?
A: Problem

Q: What do you call ten blacks on the moon?
A: Problems

Q: What do you call the entire black population on the moon?
A: Problem solved

Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics?
A: To keep the flies off the chicken.

Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR

Q: Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones?
A: Because they were still monkeys.

Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs?
A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.

Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.

Q: What do you call a group of black people.
A: An auction

Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.

Q: What would martin luther king be if he was white?
A: Alive

Q: What are three things you can't give a black person?
A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.

Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car?
A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.

Q: Why did God give Black guy's big dicks?
A: He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

Q: Why are black women like bicycles?
A: They give out free rides

Q: Ever hear about the black man who went to college?
A: Neither Have I.

Q: Why do black men have bigger penises than white men?
A: Because as kids white men had toys to play with.

Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.

Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.

Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted

Q: How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 2 one to screw it in the other to drive the pink caddilac

Q: What do you call a black man on a stick?
A: A tootsie roll pop

Q: Why are blacks so fast?
A: From running from the cops.

Q: Whats the difference between a black and tires?
A: When you put chains on tires they dont sing

Q: Did you hear about the black who died yesterday on Rt. 80?
A: He stuck his head out of the window at 100 mph and his lips beat him to death!

Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.

Q: How do you hide something from a Black Man?
A: Put it in a book.

Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the street and a dead black guy in the street?
A: There's swerve marks in front of the dog

Q: Why are black peoples hands white?
A: Because there always leening up aganst cop cars.

Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?

A: You swerve around the pothole.

Q: What happened to the 5 black guys that drove off a cliff in a cady?
A: Who gives a shit!!

Q: What do you call 400 black people swiming in a river?
A: An oil spill

Q: Why was the black baby crying?
A: He had diarea and thought he was melting

Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp

Q: What do you call 9 black guys hanging in a tree???
A: An alabama windchime

Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The lights out, how can u count them?

Q: Why can't black's,live in the country side.
A: There's no street corners.

Q: Why can't black people spell.
A: Because there black.

Q: How do you starve a negro to death?
A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

Q: How do you kill 50 flys?
A: Hit a somailen in the face with a shovel

Q: What do you get if you cross an afro with a black?
A: A microphone.

Q: Why Do Blacks Hate Country?
A: Every time they here Ho-Down They think someone shot their sister

Q: Why don't black people like asprin?
A: They have to pick through cotton to get to them

Q: Why cant stevie wonder read?
A: Cuz hes black

Q: What does FUBU stand for?
A: Farmers Used to Beat Us

Q: What do you call a black man at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Polution

Q: What do you call all the black people at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Solution

Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

Q: Whats yellow, black in the middle and funny?
A: A school bus full of blacks driving off a cliff

Q: What's purple and chained to my front porch?
A: It's my damn neigro and I'll paint him any color I want to.

Q: What is it called when a black women is in labour?
A: Constipation

Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white?
A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position.

Q: A black guy and a spanish guy are in a car whos driving?
A: The cop

Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk

Q: What do Black lesbians have for breakfast?
A: Cocoa Muffs

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family

Q: What does pontiac stand for?
A: Poor old nigger thinks its a cadillac.

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Comments

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  • 5

    a black person, a chink, an a mexican all go to the top of a building to have a contest. they all drop there babies to see who would hit the ground first. who won??
    society :D lol

    thats great!
    - matt1584 September 30, 2010, 2:50 am
    thank you thank you
    ill be here all week xD lol
    - chanse69 September 30, 2010, 10:52 am
    rofl. honestly, thats the best joke ive heard since my "best sons" joke that got +200
    - matt1584 October 1, 2010, 2:39 am
    thanks:D that means alot
    ill post it?
    - chanse69 October 4, 2010, 10:40 am
    Reply
  • 1

    tldr

    • tacolad
    • September 29, 2010, 6:22 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    haha...
    aph 8 - racist jokes. (they all black jokes)

    • Kodi93
    • September 7, 2011, 5:39 am
    Reply
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