The yellow sticky note was kind, the blue tape with the question on it was just asking for somebody named Dave to steal all of their tea and drink it.

It’s a pretty big assumption that the person you’re leaving notes to is also a Christian. What if they’re not? What if their religion advocates lawn parking?

There’s nothing better than turning religion back on people that try to use it on you. Nothing.

How passive-aggressive would you be for a Klondike Bar?

My only problem with this note is that in many countries it’s actually considered rude to tip

Bacon for Life! You may lead a healthier lifestyle, but I get to taste the sweet, sweet flavor of bacon.

I would never spit in my own salad dressing – I don’t care that much about it, but having somebody else spit in it would definitely stop me from using it.

I will never let there be an empty roll of toilet paper again.

I can’t bring myself to look up what Typhus is, but I’m guessing it falls into the category marked “Bad”.