no arm's and no leg joke

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another
drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay .. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take
another drink!"

The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip! Two legs
pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

*


------------------ HERE IT IS ----------------------
*



" He should've quit while he was a head!"

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  • 4

    An oldie but goodie.

    This guy is jogging down the beach when he passes a young lady with no arms and no legs, laying on a beach towel, crying her eyes out.

    He feels bad, goes back to her and asks her why she's crying.

    She says "Well, I got no arms and no legs, nobody likes me, and hell, I ain't even been hugged before."

    So the kind gentleman picks her up, gives her a big hug, sets her back down on her towel, and turns to jog away. Before he makes it ten feet, he hears her sobbing even louder. So again, he turns around.

    He says "Well, now you've been hugged, so why are you still sad?"

    She replies "Well, the hug was nice, but I've never been kissed before either."

    So the kind jogger picks up the legless, armless, crying lady and gives her a rather passionate kiss. He then says "There, now you've been kissed, so have a nice day" and he begins to jog away again.

    But the stump of a woman is now balling and wailing uncontrollably. This time the jogger says rather sternly "Look, thanks to me you've now been hugged, and you've been kissed. So what is the problem?"

    She says, "Well, The hug was nice and so was the kiss, but poor me, I've never ever been fucked before."

    So the jogger picks her up, tosses her into the ocean, and yells "There! Now you're fucked!

    • Albane
    • July 27, 2010, 7:52 am
    Reply
  • 1

    hahahahaaaa - that is a good one....

    Reply
  • 1

    thats terrible but so damn funny

    Reply
  • 1

    crap u stole my joke

    • wuzoo
    • July 27, 2010, 6:19 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Nice, I've seen this joke enough times in movies.

    Reply
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