im going to write a story

its going to be about a war with zombies. here the start.
it was a normal day has usela tom was walking on his way to his college.he was a tall person about 6 feet tall he was not fat nor skinny. he had black hair and for some reson black eyes.he walked outside and selled the fresh cut grass. he was looking around saw the same peoplehis freinds bob, kenny(:P),and sake. bob was a werid guy he loved to see explosion ,but really who wouldn't. kenny was someone who didn't talk much because he could only speck spanish. sake was someone who like to beat the s*ht out of stuff one time he lost it and him and bob blew up his parints car.when he got to class late as always with his b*tchy teacher mr. hippy has tom like to call him.
"late agian tom has always." said mr. hippy
"seems like it." tom said has giving him the middle finger
he sat down next to kenny and started to talk about...
thats all i got plz point out any error in the besides the capitols.tell me if i should write about this.

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  • 3

    well.... i'm sorry castlewarisawesome..... but you writing a story... with your grammar???
    lol! that's like building a mosque at ground zero!!! XD
    but i'll +3 for others to see!

    • tacolad
    • October 21, 2010, 6:03 pm
    yes i know i have grmmer problems but im fixing them and could you understand what was happening in the story
    - castlewarsisawsome October 22, 2010, 12:29 am
    yea i got it all pretty well and it is a good start!
    - tacolad October 22, 2010, 10:19 am
    yay and wrote that off the top of my head XD :D
    - castlewarsisawsome October 22, 2010, 2:59 pm
  • 1

    Correct the grammar. I'm sure the story will improve.

    • Wispy
    • October 21, 2010, 8:07 pm
  • 1

    Spelling & grammar obviously. There is no sense of plot yet but that is because there isn't much there. I would suggest writing at least double this, use a spell check and then post it again and I would have another look. How old are you by the way?

    im like 14
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 2:12 pm
    and the plot for what im going to write will start in chapter 2
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 2:13 pm
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 4:57 pm
  • 1

    right on bro, I myself am writing what I hope to be a future manga.
    But because I have put so much time into it (2yrs so far) I will not post any specifics but it has to do with aztec gods & mythical beasts & stuff of that nature.I hope that the name will be "BLACK IMAGE" but I may have to change that.
    I already have a composition book filled with ideas, characters & obviously the plot.

    man 2 years thats a long time. but i will write mine just for sharenator i dont feel like selling it. im on like page 25 right now. i hope yours becomes a manga
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 10:02 am
    hahaha you & I both
    - thekitkatkid October 23, 2010, 11:45 am
    i dont get it
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 1:55 pm
    lol dont hurt urself
    - thekitkatkid October 23, 2010, 1:58 pm
    i did when i wrote the commint
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 2:08 pm
    - castlewarsisawsome October 23, 2010, 5:00 pm
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