Zombie Plan

My zombie plan is to fight. basic mele weapons, guns, frags, and of course med kits. whats your zombie plan?
Zombie Plan by BioHazaRd Apocalypse

  • imcool
  • April 14, 2010, 8:29 pm
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  • 8

    chuck norris zombie

    • Paul
    • April 15, 2010, 9:55 pm
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  • 6

    my plan is to live on a deserted island with a woman and another uninfected family and bring plenty of food and food producing things and find a way to purify salt water or to the point where its safe to drink and reproduce and start my own country and becom supreme rules of the county and create hydrogen bombs and blow up all the zombies on land and gather weapons to kill of any other zombies remainin and then the repopulate the earth and get the radioactive-proof suits from scientific labs

    should i take offense to that? (is english)
    - Nightfang April 29, 2011, 3:16 am
    hopefully they're just talking about norfolk, the rest of us should be fine. Although i can see the same thing with the deep south. Fucking rednecks.
    - Bekenel April 29, 2011, 3:43 am
    hehe
    - Nightfang April 29, 2011, 9:52 am
    hold on now that i think of it....if its me and a woman and another family...me the tho woman can hve children then the other family can have childre....i can then have children with the other familys mother nd hve my children...thn my original children can have children with the other familys original children.... then my original children can have children wit the other familys original children mother lolz or something like that
    - xxkisamexx April 30, 2011, 5:54 am
    hillbilly uprising lolz
    - xxkisamexx April 30, 2011, 5:54 am
    not really, if he drops the bombs then continues to do his stuff all he would need to do is wait 5 or 6 years to reture to the main land...but there is a problem if there are zombies and no one to watch the nuclear powerplants there will be a world wide chernoble and every were would be inhospitable
    - moelester April 30, 2011, 1:39 pm
    Dawn that was a cheap shot. I'm sad now ):
    - DarkHunter May 1, 2011, 7:54 pm
    Remember for a species to survive you need 50 people for short term and 500 for long term.
    - DemonAngel April 19, 2012, 6:27 pm
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  • 6

    Nice RvB quote on the picture, but seriously, you're screwed. For one thing, as far as melee, I'd just stick with a katana, but you should buy a few in case they break. As far as guns, always use a silencer unless you want to attract thousands of zombies from miles around with each shot. DO NOT USE GRENADES! The last thing you want is heads and the upper halves of torsos crawling around to bight your ankles when you try to clear the battlefield. Also, "med kits" aren't like in a video game. You get bitten, you die. You get a bad (non-zombie) infection in an undead world, you'll probably die. You trip and break your leg so you can't run, you'll die. Heck, you get scratched by a zombie's finger nails and you're done. Most importantly, a plan should not be about fighting zombies, it should first be about survival. Put up multiple, strong fences around your house, raise animals and crops, have a dish to collect rainwater, and trees for firewood. Stock up on antibiotics, batteries, flashlights, clothes, and canned goods. Also, always have packs filled with supplies for each member of your group, in case you have to evacuate whatever base (I suggest a 2-story home, in the country) immediately. Finally, although I listed the best and most important aspect of your weapons, make sure to really stock up on a ton of ammo and back-up weapons. head to the Zombie Research Society website if you want to know more about how zombies will probably behave, so you can be ready. Enjoy the zombocalypse!

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 1:52 pm
    what if ur head got scratched? :P cant really amputate that >.>
    - Nightfang April 29, 2011, 3:18 am
    Then you're screwed lol
    - Ertrov April 30, 2011, 5:12 am
    amputation does not work. you're blood flows too fast for that.
    - alucard May 24, 2011, 3:18 pm
    Reply
  • 5

    Am I the only one who thinks this is really fucking stupid? XD

    There's a difference between movies, video games and real life. There's no med kits, there's not a gun or a grenade or ammo waiting around every corner. If 'zombies' happened on a video game-like scale then we'd be fucked. Simple as that.

    over 9000? XP
    - Nightfang February 2, 2011, 8:03 am
    there is for me, we have a few around the house because my mum is a nurse and what not, and as for the weapons, we have mele weapons in the shed e.g. short axes, long axes, heavy spades, chainsaw, tree machetes, bowie knife, ect.

    also, your forgetting we are talking about zombies(living dead) they are slow and brain dead. Infection are the fast motherfuckers that just want to eat you whole.
    - BlurrySours April 29, 2011, 3:40 am
    1. I think you're thinking of a first aid kit. Big difference.
    2. Nope, there are also fast zombies. Infected just means they're alive, zombies just mean they're undead. It doesn't mean they can't be fast.
    - Ertrov April 30, 2011, 5:14 am
    ah yes, but they are brain dead, which means they lack most control of their body, if not all. besides, since they're undead most have to break out of a coffin; this is very very very hard to do.
    - BlurrySours April 30, 2011, 5:26 am
    Actually they aren't brain dead. The virus takes control of the brain and the nervous system, giving it pretty good control.

    Also, most zombies are either freshly dead people, or are bitten by another zombie. The ones already buried can't get out of six feet of dirt and a coffin.
    - Ertrov April 30, 2011, 11:56 am
    i aint talking about the more 'scientific realistic' zombies, i'm talking about the ones from the story's, with the red moon that comes arround every 100 years and the zoodoo and what not
    - BlurrySours May 1, 2011, 11:54 am
    *voodoo
    - BlurrySours May 1, 2011, 11:54 am
    Oh, well those ones suck.
    - Ertrov May 1, 2011, 12:08 pm
    Reply
  • 5

    I actually am tearing up from laughing so hard at this. Made my day :')
    - 24paperwings May 24, 2011, 3:35 pm
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  • 4

    climb a plateau with seeds and other supplies and live on the land and venture out in search of food when it is really needed and dig a well for water

    sounds like minecraft
    - xxkisamexx April 30, 2011, 6:00 am
    Notch stole my idea.
    - triclebickle April 30, 2011, 7:38 am
    Reply
  • 4

    I'm just gonna lay back and say fuck it.
    zombie attack

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  • 3

    "food producing things", yeah.. the factories, save them!

    • TioArk
    • April 15, 2010, 1:18 pm
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  • 3

    Best weapon you can use against a zombie is a semi-auto rifle. It only takes one shot to the head to kill, even if your fire is full auto, You're wasting bullets unless you aim for the head. Body shots are not kill shots, so accuracy counts more than anything. I'd also keep a pistol as a side-arm (common sense) and a knife, or blade of some kinds (even if you aren't fighting zombies, it never hurts to have a knife on you. Explosives are plenty helpful too, but incendiaries should be avoided (takes to long for them to burn to death, they'll still move while burning)

    Reply
  • 3

    One problem, the radiation from the bombs. You'll have to wait a few generations before anyone could go back to the mainland.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 1:57 pm
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  • 3

    Scary that i know this but its actually true. Zombies internal organs provide no use whatsoever, so basically they dont need to eat because they have no natural hunger only primal instinct. Theyre stomach will just swell up and eventually burst or just get pushed out of the other end. They'll never starve, and are pretty much invincible to most bacteria. They can survive in sub zero temps and reanimate when they come back, and it takes up to two years for a zombie to rot, however it doesnt happen in one go so youre pretty screwed if you go to a mall or anywhere not outside the mainland (due to the likely carpet bomb/ power plant disaster)

    • noodle
    • April 15, 2010, 2:18 pm
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  • 3

    Ertrov Respect o Meter

    *Among others, Ertrov just fell the most in my expectations xD

    Reply
  • 3

    Yeah, really. And only the most concentrated direction will incinerate instantly. Surrounding zombies will become flaming zombies of doom.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:38 am
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  • 3

    Bro - I agree with you thirty times over.... thats where the fun comes into play : " who is gonna snap first ? "

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  • 3

    3 words: divide by zero. Problem solved.

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  • 2

    find an apartment near a grocery store, clear out the store with a pistol drag the bodies outside and kinda block the doors, bring heavy Misc items to block the doors and block all the floor 1 doors*to stop them from climbing over balcony* and when needed raid other apartments fridges for the food until i run out then go to the store with ma gun, *by the time all the fridges in the apartment are empty all the zombies will prolly die of starvation, except in china cause you know the like 3bill people there. only people i would bring 3 of my cousins and my grandpa would be fun :)* all of us kinda have a "skill" for guns and use it for entertainment, and if anyone got bit would put them in one apartment empty and shoot him because no zombies would be able to get at him and he'd be dead before he turns into a zombie, keep on doing that until were all gone,----THis is mine no hate comment or grammer nazis please :)

    Reply
  • 2

    I would hold up in a wal-mart or grocery store with an apartment above it. I would pretty much stick to the rules in Zombieland. Just remember, you don't have to reload a machete or baseball bat.
    wallpaper 141918 - zombie plan

    or you could hide in ur local pub XD jk
    - Kodi93 April 29, 2011, 3:50 am
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  • 2

    Zombies don't die of starvation. They don't need to eat, they do it as an instinct to infect more people. You have to destroy the brain, or wait for them to rot.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 1:56 pm
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  • 2

    Don't forget to use silencers

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 1:58 pm
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  • 2

    yea for got one major thing

    Reply
  • 2

    Max brooks FTW :p

    • noodle
    • April 15, 2010, 2:20 pm
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  • 2

    Ah Max Brooks, the first man ive ever tell me that a chainsaw isn't a good idea.

    but fucking cool.

    Reply
  • 2

    or you can move to a deserted island cause zombies cant swim

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  • 2

    My plan for zombies is chuck norris

    cns1 - zombie plan

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  • 2

    Not if Chuck Norris is a fucking zombie...

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  • 2

    One word. Fiji.

    • Dawn
    • April 15, 2010, 5:16 pm
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  • 2

    Lmao I love our extensive knowledge on all things zombie. I think this generation is perfect for an apocalypse

    Reply
  • 2

    My 'Zombie Plan' is pretty much the same as my "nuclear holocaust" plan: Plenty of supplies , and a cache of weapons in a defend-able position with my wife/kids and friends who are also capable of defending us. When you are questioned - you really only get one chance to answer..... There will be sweeps to get medical supplies and look for survivors - very carefully.

    Reply
  • 2

    Someone hasn't read the Zombie Survival Guide...

    Reply
  • 2

    hah rich coming from someone who doesnt have a zombie plan. Zombie plan= survival plan in many scenarios i.e war, nuclear holocaust another virus, hillbilly uprising etc

    • noodle
    • April 16, 2010, 9:11 am
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  • 2

    Chuck. Doesn't. Fail.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:37 am
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  • 2

    Careful how many friends you have with you. People act differently in a survival situation. Odds are, if you have a group of 10 people, at least one will snap mentally.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:40 am
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  • 2

    its beautiful

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  • 2

    you've gone up in my respectometer cos of this post i've taken on board alot of your ideas to help me be more prepared

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  • 2


    nice gifs, whats the 1st gif from?
    - Nightfang April 29, 2011, 3:21 am
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  • 2

    smart idea about the grenades but i think if you just get scratched by a zombie NOT bitten then you can just clean yourself up

    • imcool
    • April 26, 2010, 7:19 pm
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  • 2

    repost but needed haha
    photoshop magic 15 Photoshop Magic s588x600 85231 580

    My plan for zombie outbreak XD

    • Kodi93
    • April 29, 2011, 4:11 am
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  • 1

    *face-palm* I give up

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 1:59 pm
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  • 1

    Hey the dude with the yellow hat is tires from Spaced, doubt if you know who im speaking about though :)

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  • 1

    Chuck norris a zombie impossible for one reason
    HE IS CHUCK NORRIS

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  • 1

    Of course, thanks for the reminder.

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  • 1

    Lol, yep

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:18 pm
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  • 1

    Unless he wanted to become a zombie. Then he could do so through sheer force of will.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:20 pm
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  • 1

    And you are seriousl screwed if they end up there. They could repopulate anywhere in the world weeks even months after its been given the all clear.

    • noodle
    • April 15, 2010, 3:21 pm
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  • 1

    theyd have to go through alot sulfur vents oh and since they still have human properties their bones and brains will be crushed by the pressure and there are animals they will eat them gian squids sperm whales and there is no light so they wouldnt no where they are going so island is the best choice considering zombies cant fly planes or boats

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  • 1

    exactly. If chuck norris wanted to wake up, turn into a zombie and fuck up the world, he damn well could.

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  • 1

    Wow, I never thought about Chuck being a zombie. We would have to unleash Godzilla, King Kong, and that annoying bitch from Fox News or something. I think her name is Ann Coulter. She would piss him off until his head exploded.

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  • 1

    No problem, lol. You have a good plan, it would suck to fire a shot and attract a horde of stenches.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:42 pm
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  • 1

    Or he would make her head explode lol

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:43 pm
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  • 1

    Still, due to any gas buildup, they might even float across the ocean. However it happens, I wouldn't rely on water as my only defense.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:44 pm
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  • 1

    considering zombies are deteriating flesh they will msot likely fall off and maybe just maybe sharks will eat them if they do float.... ummm nvm cause the only thing worst than a zombie human is a zombie shark lolz

    Reply
  • 1

    Well i guess if he did become a zombie we would all be dead in less than 24 hrs

    so lets just hope that that never happens
    well at least in our lifetime our great grandchildren can deal with it

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  • 1

    If animals can be infected, we're all dead. One mosquito bite and you're gone.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 4:26 pm
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  • 1

    lolz well we cant get infected from mosquitoes cause zombies dont have blood

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  • 1

    Just saying... It's pretty easy to hear a silenced gunshot. If the zombies are 'Dead' silent ones they'll hear it right away unless you've got some good distance between you and them.

    • Dawn
    • April 15, 2010, 5:16 pm
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  • 1

    2 words flame thrower, which at a tempreture that will incinerate flesh on contact barring that and this is for any of the w40k fans out there a warlord titan

    ell at least other survivors will see them comming and have time to react
    - xxkisamexx April 30, 2011, 6:09 am
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  • 1

    Well, I've never shot a silenced gun outside of a video game so I wouldn't know. But I think good distance goes without saying, especially if you plan to fight like I do (pick them off with headshots).

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  • 1

    ur crazy

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  • 1

    seriously...

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  • 1

    Where the fuck are you getting your mega-factual information on zombies from? Movies?

    The idea of zombies in real life is possible, since there is a possibility of some kind of massive infection with rabies-like symptoms making people aggressive etc., but there's no way you can be so factual and sure about it all.

    You're all living in la-la land.

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  • 1

    no Sir. :(

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  • 1

    People forget about all the thousands of other people with the same plan, have fun fighting each other for food.

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  • 1

    And where do you plan on finding one of those, let alone the fuel?

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  • 1

    Some dude called max "i killed a zombie with my bare hands and lived to tell the tale" brooks. Nah he didnt really but what he says is scientifically accurate, so hes done a load of research into decomposition, how the body works and the best terrain to hide on. Quite intellectual stuff to read

    • noodle
    • April 16, 2010, 8:32 am
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  • 1

    I'll research that before I make any proper comment, but my initial thought is that there's no one sure way we know exactly what could cause zombification, and what the exact symptoms would be, so there's no way you can be so factual and specific.

    *EDIT*

    Looked into it and it says clearly that it's all fiction. So it's kind of silly to act like it's all scientific fact etc. when it's just another fictional take on zombies. Unless the post has like a specific "THIS IS SET IN MAX BROOK'S UNIVERSE AND THE VIRUS CAUSING THE ZOMBIES IS SOLANUM" then you can't be so exact about what would happen and what the zombies would be like.

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  • 1

    What i meant by scientific fact, is the research into stuff not the zombies but the premise behind it about good weapons to use and stuff. All of that is actually true, which also makes this book quite a good survival guide in the long run. Anyone who takes it seriously is a bit deluded (yes i know i'm deluded :p)

    • noodle
    • April 16, 2010, 9:09 am
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  • 1

    Well yeah that's all fair enough, you can kind of make decent assumptions in those respects. The thing I was queerying was the mega factual way mainly yourself and Ertrov were talking about them, them not needing food and having to destroy the brain etc.

    Reply
  • 1

    I use the zombie survival guide (filtering out what I know is ridiculous) and various podcasts, blogs, etc. Most importantly, I read the research reports done by actual scientists at the Zombie Research Society website.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:33 am
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  • 1

    It depends how fresh the zombie is. If someone is infected, and then bit by a mosquito while still alive, the insect will carry the virus. This is again, assuming that animals can be infected. Otherwise, the mosquito would simply die.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:35 am
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  • 1

    Well, I would agree that it's way different in real life, and a lot harder to survive. But not impossible if you use smart survival skills. Unless they're fast zombies. Then we're fucked.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:39 am
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  • 1

    Lol, say what you will, but I'm ready for the zombocalypse.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:41 am
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  • 1

    Hence the idea of growing/raising your own food.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 11:41 am
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  • 1

    That sounds like some kind of cheap TV special... :P

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  • 1

    I was reading stuff on that Zombie Research Society website for a while, until I saw "It is widely believed that zombies are cold-blooded", to me that discredits the whole program. Zombies ARE coldblooded, not zombies could be blooded. Zombies don't exist, so they aren't anything, the general idea behind zombies is possible, so everything relating to them are merely possibilities.

    Things like where's the best place to be, or how to defend yourselves, those are things you can get a good solid idea behind, but what the zombies will be like, how they'll happen etc. is impossible to determine. Things like them not needing to eat, or having to destroy the brain to kill them, how can you possible talk about them as if they are fact?

    You can make theories and float ideas around and get basic ideas that COULD happen, but it's massively speculation.

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  • 1

    IT'S ALL LIES DAMNIT! XD

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  • 1

    thats your best bet.

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  • 1

    Your ass is grass MickeyNinja.

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  • 1

    It's Mikey, not Mickey, learn to read.

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  • 1

    oh i see lolz zombie animals would be crazy i wonder if a zombie mosquito would be able to fly considering its deteriorating

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  • 1

    Daisy Cutters and Fuel Air might work... Same with napalm provided your immune.

    • Dawn
    • April 16, 2010, 5:20 pm
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  • 1

    Now, now, let's not get mean, peoples.

    • Ertrov
    • April 16, 2010, 7:48 pm
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  • 1

    zombiess!

    Reply
  • 1

    AND, if it was just you and a woman and another family, the entire population of earth would be inbred and then then the zombie apocalypse would start all over again.

    • Goober
    • April 16, 2010, 10:36 pm
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  • 1

    ohhhh well ill bring multiple families that arent infected at least 5

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  • 1

    Well. Animals can't turn into zombies. They will most likely die if bitten by a zombie. But something like birds or in some cases anything could carry the virus. It can carry the virus but it's not a zombie itself.

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  • 1

    So we're talking about another England?... =^-^=

    • Dawn
    • April 23, 2010, 2:20 pm
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  • 1

    If you put it that way... x]

    • dogggy
    • April 23, 2010, 5:27 pm
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  • 1

    if there are fast zombie no time to clean yourself up with a med kit JUST RUN. here is to test your skills http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/zombie

    • imcool
    • April 26, 2010, 7:17 pm
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  • 1

    Crank up the Metal, Whip out a battle axe, and go at it mosh pit style

    Reply
  • 1

    actually, the blood might be congealed, or flow cold. That's why it's debated.

    • Ertrov
    • May 16, 2010, 12:53 pm
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  • 1

    Great movie

    • Ertrov
    • May 16, 2010, 12:58 pm
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  • 1

    The virus still enters your body, so most likely you're screwed. However, a small scratch would take longer to spread, so amputation might work.

    • Ertrov
    • July 12, 2010, 3:58 pm
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  • 1

    There's no such thing as a medkit! My gosh, how many times must I say this....

    • Ertrov
    • July 12, 2010, 4:01 pm
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  • 1

    (this is extremly late but who gives a shit) blast some metal, take out akimbo RPDs, get 3 more friends, find an abandonded german factory, kick some ass.

    Reply
  • 1

    in my freerunning days i found buildings i can get ontop of, on of which was a co-op shop with a roof on a roof(construction) so i would just hang there for a while with all the weapons that are in my dads shed.
    Also, i can easily nip down stealthily and grab food from the shop im on top of. There i can just wait until they send out the evac hellies (:

    Reply
  • 1

    I would try to find Chuck Norris ASAP.

    Reply
  • 1

    what if zombies can fly 0_o not actually suggesting they can but what if?

    • Kodi93
    • April 29, 2011, 3:57 am
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  • 1

    my plan is to live in This house =)

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  • 1

    my plan is to get a really strong car or a tank something like that and then go from mall to mall and live their until the resources are gone. And of course stop at as many weapon shops as possible and take everything. And stop at hospitals to get medicine like pot.
    maybe sometime stop at a university or something to find a cure because you cant live forever on the resources of malls lol. After a while I would have to put some dirt on the top and start growing food and stuff.

    • Vans
    • April 29, 2011, 9:55 am
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  • 1

    first of all, i think there are too may of these sort of posts and second, AA12, G17, L98A2, machete, supermarket and some fine biatches

    Reply
  • 1

    my zombie plan is simple...Before the infection is released i will hope fully have my pilots license and i shall flay to siberia and make my new life there, if it happens before i have my license my friends and i will rendezou at out local sport chalet and then make our way to hover dam in Nevada we will maintain the generators there and baricade the two ends of the dam, but if they turn out to be fast left 4 dead type zombies i have a bullet with my name on it

    Reply
  • 1

    im going to be staying right beside chuck norris thats my plan

    Reply
  • 1

    my zombie plan is to go to my uncles who has shit tons of gunz and ammo kill anything with a twelve gauge that moves (except humans that are alive)make a fort from a nerby building that has abundance of food and water and eventually make it to a rescue camp or fly away to another remote place

    Reply
  • 1

    act like a zombie and hope that it works

    • Vans
    • April 19, 2012, 6:54 pm
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  • 0

    to play devils advocate how do you know what will and will not kill the undead? i think during the zombie appocalips obamas health care plan will cover the "living impared".

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  • 0

    If Chuck Norris's Martial Arts skill falls him, he plays dead. After that he plays Zombie.

    Reply
  • -1

    No, but they can walk across the ocean floor.

    • Ertrov
    • April 15, 2010, 3:19 pm
    Reply
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