You're f***ing Out !!!
These are some of my favorite Kenny Powers Quotes from the show Eastbound and Down on HBO -
When my ass was 19 years old I changed the face of Professional Baseball.
I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick... everyone.
Kenny Powers: Ya'll get that tanning bed i sent ya'll last year?
Cassie Powers: Yeah, you mean the one you sent three years ago?
Kenny Powers: Wow. Three years... hmm. Well, it IS a tanning bed
I'm sick and tired of carrying all the weight, the coaches and owners not giving me the shit I need to win. Atlanta, you're fucking out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Let's buy the bar and get shitfaced. Get me paid, bitch!
Kenny Powers: When we were kids, me and your Dad used to beat the shit out of these retard brothers that used live down the street from us. Hilarious! I mean this guy was the most ruthless one! Now, I'm sittin here, he's got a family, nice shirt on.
Cassie Powers: We try to teach our children not to make fun of others who are challenged.
Kenny Powers: Mongoloid Mike? Is that what you used to call him?
But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.
P.E. Kid: When you did steroids, did they make your balls shrink?
Kenny Powers: Oh, you think that's funny? How 'bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question
Kenny Powers' motivational tape: A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.
Terrence Cutler: There's something you need to know, Kenny. You're not the only athlete here at Jeff Davis. I happen to be training for a Triathlon right now. Doin' a lot of running, and cycling, swimming. Well you know all about that.
Kenny Powers: No actually I don't. I do SPORTS. Not try to be the best at exercising.
Kenny Powers: [on phone with prostitute] Alright, so let me get this straight. So I gotta pay for a blow job, and I gotta pay for a fuckin' hotel room too? Well that seems like I'm spending too much money for nothin' I got a house. You can just get your ass over and we could just do the blow job here. And can I wear the 'SCREAM' mask? The mask from 'SCREAM' while I do you from behind.
View: 600x371
When my ass was 19 years old I changed the face of Professional Baseball.
I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick... everyone.
Kenny Powers: Ya'll get that tanning bed i sent ya'll last year?
Cassie Powers: Yeah, you mean the one you sent three years ago?
Kenny Powers: Wow. Three years... hmm. Well, it IS a tanning bed
I'm sick and tired of carrying all the weight, the coaches and owners not giving me the shit I need to win. Atlanta, you're fucking out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Let's buy the bar and get shitfaced. Get me paid, bitch!
View: 625x420
Kenny Powers: When we were kids, me and your Dad used to beat the shit out of these retard brothers that used live down the street from us. Hilarious! I mean this guy was the most ruthless one! Now, I'm sittin here, he's got a family, nice shirt on.
Cassie Powers: We try to teach our children not to make fun of others who are challenged.
Kenny Powers: Mongoloid Mike? Is that what you used to call him?
But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.
P.E. Kid: When you did steroids, did they make your balls shrink?
Kenny Powers: Oh, you think that's funny? How 'bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question
Kenny Powers' motivational tape: A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.
View: 620x398
Terrence Cutler: There's something you need to know, Kenny. You're not the only athlete here at Jeff Davis. I happen to be training for a Triathlon right now. Doin' a lot of running, and cycling, swimming. Well you know all about that.
Kenny Powers: No actually I don't. I do SPORTS. Not try to be the best at exercising.
Kenny Powers: [on phone with prostitute] Alright, so let me get this straight. So I gotta pay for a blow job, and I gotta pay for a fuckin' hotel room too? Well that seems like I'm spending too much money for nothin' I got a house. You can just get your ass over and we could just do the blow job here. And can I wear the 'SCREAM' mask? The mask from 'SCREAM' while I do you from behind.
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Posted: 2010-08-20 11:30:28
Psst.
Responses (18) / Sorted by points
I don't blow smoke up peoples ass's but you are an awesome person !
yeah bro - I love the new episodes - some of my new favorite quotes :
"Steve does not accept layaway. When you place a f*cking bet with Steve, you f*cking pay Steve when his f*cking cock wins..."
"It looks like sh*t. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPG? Motherf*cker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated"
and my new favorite
"Remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in c*nt. So don't be little jealous c*nts, ok?"
"Steve does not accept layaway. When you place a f*cking bet with Steve, you f*cking pay Steve when his f*cking cock wins..."
"It looks like sh*t. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPG? Motherf*cker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated"
and my new favorite
"Remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in c*nt. So don't be little jealous c*nts, ok?"
Its a great show and the new season is funnier than last.
