Your Mum/Mom Jokes!

its finished194 - your mum/mom jokes!


Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!

Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!

Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!

Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!

Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!

Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!

Yo mama's so fat people jog around her for exercise!

Yo mama's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!

Yo mama's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors!

Yo mama's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world!

Yo mama's so fat she lays on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy!

Yo mama's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller!

Yo mama's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets!

Yo mama's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th!

Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!

Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"!

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"!

Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued!

Yo mama's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama's so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo mama's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama's so fat she uses entire trees to pick her teeth!

Yo mama's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles!

Yo mama's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl!

Yo mama's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"!

Yo mama's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks!

Yo mama's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Car!

Yo mama's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!

Yo mama's so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!

Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs!

Yo mama's so fat she cant reach her back pocket!
Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry!

Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween!

Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away!

Yo mama's so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Yo mama's so ugly that yo daddy first met her at the pound!

Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Yo mama's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Planet of the Apes!

Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck!

Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras!

Yo mama's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama's so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama's so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama's so old she flicked the switch when god said let there be light!

Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class!

Yo mama's so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

Yo mama's so old her birth certificate says expired on it!

Yo mama's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!

Yo mama's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper!

Yo mama's so old she ran track with dinosaurs!

Yo mama's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals!

Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook!

Yo mama's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade!

Yo mama's so stupid when she saw the under 17 not admitted sign, she went home and got 16 friends!

Yo mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money!

Yo mama's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911?"!

Yo mama's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Yo mama's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."!

Yo mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out!
Yo mama's so stupid she stole free bread!

Yo mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl!

Yo mama's so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners!

Yo mama's so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama's so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama's so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home!

Yo mama's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead!

Yo mama's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up!

Yo mama's so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund!

Yo mama's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain!

Yo mama's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes!

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Comments

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  • 3

    yo mama's s stupid she tried to drown a fish in water

    lmfao!
    That one always gets me...xD
    - HeartlessAngel January 4, 2011, 10:16 pm
    its possible. If you grab their tail and drag it backwards, their gills get flooded with water and they drown.

    It sounds silly but its true.
    - SkinnyBill July 22, 2011, 12:51 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Your momma is so poor she has to put a shake on lay-away at mcdonalds...

    Reply
  • 1

    This post is so boring, it needs a +1.

    My friend said he needed some "your mum" jokes so I made this instead.
    - Upsidedownie December 21, 2010, 8:14 am
    it was good. just so many.
    - arrowdodger7 December 21, 2010, 11:40 am
    Haha... I went for quantity over quality.
    - Upsidedownie December 21, 2010, 12:13 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    yo mama is so stupid took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

    - Jackylegs January 5, 2011, 1:21 am
    Reply
  • 1

    yo momma is so stupid......................
    well i dont know, she just is

    • JDLRATX
    • February 9, 2011, 2:33 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    your mom is so hairy, you were born with a rugburn.

    your mom is so ghetto, she breastfeeds kool-aid.

    Reply
  • 1

    How bout yo daddy jokes


    Yo daddy is so poor he wears a condom when he has sex cuz he can't afford another baby

    Reply
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