I has an AXE!!

Axe - Which weapon would you use to kill Edward with?!

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Posted: 2010-07-19 21:10:46

Responses (91) // Sorted by points

Psst.

thekitkatkid - replied 2010-07-20 07:54:49

+7

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FirePheonix - replied 2010-07-20 09:30:52

+7

sparta!!!!!

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Bekenel - replied 2010-07-20 06:35:16

+6

I'd hire a horde of angry Scotsmen, like the cheerful chaps shown below, to hack him apart with claymores while I watched, laughing.

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- Phoenix - replied 2010-07-23 07:40:09
  
  +2
  
  They're drawing broadswords, not claymores.
  
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  - Bekenel - replied 2010-07-23 07:51:13
    
    +1
    
    They'd still get the job done whatever they used. Whether they use claymores or broadswords is irrelevant.
    
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    - Phoenix - replied 2010-07-23 08:31:09
      
      +4
      
      Anything not related to elephants is irrelephant.
      
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  - toxictoxic - replied 2010-08-08 23:21:36
    
    +1
    
    scots did use claymores though so its not really a bad choice of words one of william walace's faveright wepons was a scottish claymore
    
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  -10
- DestroyerJackson - replied 2010-07-23 06:00:04
  
  -10
  
  a claymore is a mine retard!
  
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  - XxDaminalsxX - replied 2010-07-23 06:07:52
    
    +4
    
    A claymore is also a double edged sword retard!
    
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  - Bekenel - replied 2010-07-23 06:17:50
    
    +3
    
    Search 'scottish claymore' on google images. This is what you will find:
    
    It is a broadsword traditional of Scottish highland clans. The mine was named after this. Research a bit before questioning others.
    
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    - DestroyerJackson - replied 2010-08-07 11:10:58
      
      +1
      
      my bad
      
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  - Dannyl - replied 2010-07-23 06:07:38
    
    +2
    
    ........ A claymore is a scottish broad sword. Stop playing call of duty and go learn something
    
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  - tbart2010 - replied 2010-08-08 16:07:10
    
    +1
    
    hahaha this is what happens when a kid plays CoD and doesnt know that some words have multiple meanings. Fail lol
    
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Barbazul - replied 2010-07-20 18:02:12

+5

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- gw2250 - replied 2010-08-07 17:44:41
  
  +1
  
  a true vampire.
  
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jedi870 - replied 2010-07-20 17:10:32

+4

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- ReapersSniper - replied 2010-12-17 02:32:18
  
  +1
  
  Beat me to it... A while ago. Damnit!
  
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DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-20 17:41:32

+4

I'd be all SHOOOP DA WOOOP

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XxDaminalsxX - replied 2010-07-23 06:21:03

+4

I'd use a real vampire and werewolf to kill Edaward and Jacob!

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oh and for Ichigo and his shoop-da-whoop I would use this to kill him instead:

also I would use Sephiroth

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Curuba - replied 2010-08-07 11:33:15

+4

All those methods are way to fast...
How about putting some meat eating insects inside of him.

Or we throw him into a room full of female (and male?!) twilight fans and let them rape him untill he kills himself.

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- toxictoxic - replied 2010-08-08 23:29:14
  
  +1
  
  bloody brilliant I would have never of thought of that
  
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triclebickle - replied 2010-07-19 21:43:28

+3

i would beat him to death with the pope

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Dannyl - replied 2010-07-19 23:36:04

+3

I'd beat him to death with a giant black rubber dildo, which is also the most convenient weapon for me as I always carry one round with me.

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- joey3636 - replied 2010-07-20 00:42:27
  
  +1
  
  your not a bro rapist are you?
  
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  - BEASTY - replied 2010-07-20 07:48:04
    
    +1
    
    HE....IS ONE OF THEM ATTACK!
    
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moelester - replied 2010-07-20 18:26:33

+3

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this is what i would use

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destroyer124 - replied 2010-08-07 18:40:00

+3

Personally i would just beat him with the Banjo playing kid in The Deliverance

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- gryxng - replied 2010-08-07 19:05:44
  
  +3
  
  somehow that kid reminds of tallahasee
  
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SuDoku - replied 2010-11-10 12:50:14

+3

Just for the sheer irony, I'd beat him repeatedly with a disco ball.

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xdvx - replied 2010-07-19 23:34:14

+2

Sword (Kill Bill, Blade, Highlander style)

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- XxDaminalsxX - replied 2010-07-23 06:25:52
  
  +3
  
  Even better:
  
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DennisDee - replied 2010-07-20 00:02:32

+2

My Wiener!

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- CaptinCrunk - replied 2010-07-20 01:05:54
  
  +13
  
  Ah, the old kill him with laughter... nice.
  
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  - destroyer124 - replied 2010-08-08 13:15:56
    
    +2
    
    OWNED!!
    
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Ertrov - replied 2010-07-20 11:35:33

+2

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Alantae - replied 2010-07-20 17:41:16

+2

The only weapon more dangerous than Nuclear technology its self...

Bruce Lee!

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mofosho - replied 2010-08-08 16:31:44

+2

my cordless phone

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CrazyJay - replied 2010-11-10 12:59:12

+2

I'd make him read Twilight. Once he understands what he's put me through, he'll take his own life out of guilt. That, or a lightsaber.

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DemonAngel - replied 2010-11-11 08:23:37

+2

He is as good gone

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Reddeath195 - replied 2010-11-11 09:37:30

+2

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ember - replied 2010-12-15 15:41:01

+2

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I will beat him as close to death as posible without killing him. Then I will nurse him back to health only to repeat the process intill I get bord with his pain (might be a while). I then will chain him to a chair in the biggest building I can find to lure fangirls in. After the building is packed my team of twilight haters will seal all exits and set the building on fireusing the twilight books as kindaling as we rost marshmellows:D

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- CaptinCrunk - replied 2010-12-16 19:38:56
  
  +1
  
  or you could just jam that thing up his pee hole.
  
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HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-20 00:15:13

+1

Apparently the ONLY thing that can kill Vamps is fire(And Chuck Norris)...

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suckots - replied 2010-07-20 06:06:37

+1

light that vampire!

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- toxictoxic - replied 2010-08-08 23:26:23
  
  +2
  
  then you would see all the seeman stains on his face
  
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BEASTY - replied 2010-07-20 07:46:42

+1

SR-71 BLACKBIRD BEATCH!

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- johnecash - replied 2010-08-09 11:40:28
  
  +1
  
  so you want to take pictures of him?
  
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  - BEASTY - replied 2010-08-09 13:42:18
    
    +1
    
    no i want to crash into him at twice the speed of sound as it will kill him with ease :)
    
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    - johnecash - replied 2010-08-09 13:55:02
      
      +1
      
      you want to kill yourself in order to kill him? (i know the devils advocate is always annoying buy hey, its fun for me)
      
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      - BEASTY - replied 2010-08-09 17:14:36
        
        +1
        
        yes but then i would be a marter and people will thank me forever
        
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        johnecash - replied 2010-08-09 18:56:35
        
        +1
        
        i will never understand why people hate someone they have never met like this. the fact is i knew nothing about this kid other than what i have seen on this site. then again if i don't like some one's music, i turn the station and not listen to the bad music and complain about how bad it is or how much i hate that person. thats just me though.
        
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        BEASTY - replied 2010-08-10 01:10:29
        
        +1
        
        if you had a gf who liked it you will know why, my gf likes Edward wayyyy to much and i said i like bella she wasnt to happy lol that and she wants me to red the books and watch the films...and the first film had a shit budget.
        
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        johnecash - replied 2010-08-10 09:46:20
        
        +1
        
        i would not read the book unless you want to know the story and how to break down all its faults. i do have more respect for people who bitch about the movies who have seen the movies. i hate when people say the xyz movie sucks. then you ask have you seen movie xyz? they say no and you then ask well how do you know it sucks. for what its worth i have not seen broke back mountain and would jump on the band wagon to bash how gay it is.
        
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        BEASTY - replied 2010-08-10 10:05:18
        
        +1
        
        i have seen them they are of but the story is bad and edward is just either retarded or gay
        
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        johnecash - replied 2010-08-10 10:20:07
        
        +1
        
        all i have to say is if the ladies like it, by default i like it. then again i like the ladies. that is the point of view of a single man though, it sounds like you have a ball and chain. i am going to assume that the way you feel about twilight is the same way she felt about the last rambo movie(best use of a .50 cal maw deuce as a supporting actor ever!) there is nothing wrong with movies that are not made for men. i can't wait to go see the expendables movie, but i am sure there are plenty of women who eyes just roll when they think of seeing this masterpiece of arts.
        
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IDeidaraIKun - replied 2010-07-20 08:05:43

+1

I would kill him slowly. First, i would cut his hands, arms, and dick off (if he has one) Then i will have justin bieber rape him. I would then slowly burn him and whilst having Bieber skull fuck him. Then i will have that gay wolf guy ash fuck him

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- XxDaminalsxX - replied 2010-07-23 06:09:18
  
  +1
  
  I think Justin Bieber's singing would be enough to kill him.
  
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  - IDeidaraIKun - replied 2010-07-23 10:06:17
    
    +1
    
    True true
    
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- HippyBoy - replied 2010-07-23 04:39:39
  
  0
  
  You seem to like man loving a lot...
  
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Windsurfer13 - replied 2010-07-20 08:07:29

+1

Why not this one?

rip the arms and legs off he is pretty much screwed...

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halogod989 - replied 2010-07-20 11:39:20

+1

Holy water.

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EdwardVanRichtofen - replied 2010-07-22 15:06:12

+1

Wunderwaffle Dg-2

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fucQ - replied 2010-07-23 06:18:34

+1

Chuch norris know what to choose

or tickle until the death

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superjoshi23 - replied 2010-07-23 06:41:02

+1

chuck norris

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ryrob23 - replied 2010-08-07 17:21:23

+1

id fucking tell every marvel superhero that he raped their girlfriends. so he has to deal with hulk and wolverine iron man blade luke cage ghost rider .and then id fucking hit his gay ass with a wrecking ball covered in wooden steaks garlic and holy water just to make sure he is dead id hit him with a steak again

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- Nightfang - replied 2010-11-10 12:48:38
  
  +1
  
  but it isnt a real vampire! it lives in the forest and sparkles! it is a fairy! also is it a boy or a girl? i really cant tell :P
  
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ryrob23 - replied 2010-08-07 17:21:24

+1

id fucking tell every marvel superhero that he raped their girlfriends. so he has to deal with hulk and wolverine iron man blade luke cage ghost rider .and then id fucking hit his gay ass with a wrecking ball covered in wooden steaks garlic and holy water just to make sure he is dead id hit him with a steak again

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toadyody - replied 2010-08-08 13:14:21

+1

chinese holy water torture

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AllenGoesRAWR - replied 2010-08-08 14:01:55

+1

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OverlordMaverick - replied 2010-08-09 09:27:25

+1

CHINESE DEATH OF ONE THOUSAND CUTS!

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iGreenDay - replied 2010-08-10 07:33:04

+1

These, seeing as Edward only exists in gay form, this would turn him into
A. A real vampire that doesn't glitter
B. A normal fucking person
C. Dust
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Nightfang - replied 2010-11-10 12:50:30

+1

i'd use justin biebers music on him :P then i'd throw his spasm'd body into acid with sharks with lasers! :D

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- castlewarsisawsome - replied 2010-11-10 12:58:02
  
  +1
  
  epic much better then i was thinking
  
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  - Nightfang - replied 2010-11-10 23:38:31
    
    +1
    
    hehe....edward will suffer XD
    
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    - castlewarsisawsome - replied 2010-11-11 02:21:39
      
      0
      
      but i thnk justin biebers music will do the job
      
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      - Nightfang - replied 2010-11-11 08:09:14
        
        +1
        
        lol
        
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iGreenDay - replied 2010-12-15 15:09:21

+1

heterosexualasaur! I choose you!

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Jabori - replied 2010-12-16 18:29:40

+1

egg whisk plain and simple

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CaptinCrunk - replied 2010-12-16 19:24:18

+1

Lets ask Macgyver, he'll know what to do.

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- Macgyver - replied 2010-12-16 19:25:58
  
  +1
  
  Funny you should ask Crunk.
  
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  - Selma - replied 2010-12-16 19:34:23
    
    +1
    
    Oh my Lord! MacGyver's on Sharenator!
    
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aggieman - replied 2010-12-16 19:49:07

+1

What he fears most. A vagina.

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halo00001 - replied 2010-12-17 03:48:59

+1

scoped and silenced 50 caliber

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rain42 - replied 2010-12-17 04:17:26

+1

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Doip - replied 2011-06-19 16:03:13

+1

An AC-130
followed by napalm
then PAVEWAY bombs
Then the Tsar Bomba

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alucard - replied 2011-06-19 16:21:08

+1

the only way to kill him is to use another sparkly vampire to catch him then rip him to pieces and burn him. trust me this is the only way, i've read the books.

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SuperPost - replied 2011-06-19 16:40:53

+1

I will take a butter knife and slowly use it to dig his eyes out!
And when they are out I will force him to eat them while I use a spoon to cut off his arms and legs. and when I do I will beat him using his arms and legs as weapons. And right before he dies I will play Justin Bieber to him.

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