Weird English Laws

Most goods may not be sold on Sunday. One exception to this are carrots. (Repealed)

All English Men over 14 are meant to carry out 2 hours (or so) of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

Throughout the whole of England it is illegal to eat mince pies on the 25th of December.

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism.

Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.

It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

Anal sex is prohibited.

You may not make out in public.

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime. (Repealed)


You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.


You can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close.


You are considered a freeman if you can drive your geese down Cheapside and to be hanged with silk rope (as opposed to plain old hemp).

Companies may vote in local elections.


Upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays.

  • Math
  • October 2, 2009, 2:40 pm
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  • 1

    wtf thats from like 100s of years ago
    apart from the tv licence thats true and it fukin sucks oh and u have to pay for a tv licence if u have a tv in your home even if u haved never used it

    • stewiz
    • October 3, 2009, 3:18 am
  • 1

    You have to pay for the TV licence if you have no TV but a pc/laptop in the house! Students beware!

    • Math
    • October 3, 2009, 3:50 am
  • 1

    lol no a pc/ laptop is fine just if u own a tv u have to buy a licence just another way for the goverment to scam cash of us

    • stewiz
    • October 3, 2009, 3:42 pm
  • 1

    100's of years ago and the TV licence is so we get 6 channels with out adverts.

    • Wupwup
    • September 7, 2010, 8:12 am
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