Warning Labels part 2/4
* "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
* "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
* "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
* "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
* "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
* "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
* "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
* "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
* "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
* "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
* "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
* "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
* "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
* "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
* "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
* "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions.
Assurances:
* "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
Small Print From Commercials:
* "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
* "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
* "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
* "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Signs and Notices:
* "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.
* "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
* "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.
* "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
* "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.
* "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.
* "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.
* "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
* "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.
* "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.
* "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
* "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
* "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
* "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
* "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
* "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
* "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
* "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
* "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
* "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
* "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
* "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
* "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
* "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
* "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
* "Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions.
Assurances:
* "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
Small Print From Commercials:
* "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
* "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
* "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
* "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Signs and Notices:
* "No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.
* "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
* "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.
* "All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
* "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.
* "Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.
* "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.
* "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
* "Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.
* "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.
* "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
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Posted: 2009-10-12 13:21:13
Psst.
