Thou shall praise the mighty Bacon

Please note, this is a complete joke I made, this is not serious in any way

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: Ah, that one.

Stranger: It wasn't bacon...

YOU: thou shall not have any other deity, nor worship any idol other
than the almighty bacon

YOU: deity*

Stranger: I'm a vegetarian.

Stranger: And for this, it's diety.

YOU: even veggies love bacon, don't lie

YOU: no, deity

Stranger: I guess. And no - diet-y. Get it?

YOU: yes i get it, but thou shall not misinterpret the word of the bacon


YOU: for it is truly an almighty entity

Stranger: Indeed... Mmm...

Stranger: Shall we diverge and spread the message?

YOU: praise the bacon, for the father died and gave the holy trinity of bacon, pork and gammon, so that humans might purged of wickedness, like cabbage
You: and so that we might live in harmony with It

Stranger: Sounds about right, though I'm not very religious.

YOU: seriously, this could be such a brilliant religion

Stranger: Imagine it, the followers would flock to church or whatever.

Stranger: But the average lifespan would drop drastically.

YOU: thou shalt eat the bacon, for it is the father's flesh

YOU: thou shall commune with the almighty in this manner

Stranger: Yeah... They'd follow every commandment.

YOU: i think i have created a viable religion for the atheists in this world

Stranger: Definitely. Everybody loves ba- oh wait, muslims...

YOU: i said atheists

YOU: it matters not, for only those who choose to follow the way of bacon shall find its salvation

Stranger: But if we could convert every single person on the planet...

YOU: then truly, in the unity of love out of bacon, we might have peace

Stranger: But then we'd find something else to rag on, like... Height.

YOU: let he with small man syndrome be saved through love, by the way of bacon

YOU: Unity from strength, strength from Bacon

YOU: I must now depart to spread the word of Bacon

YOU: Farewell, my son
You have disconnected.

4954955444 16e9574c82 b - thou shall praise the mighty bacon

Praise Be.

  • Bekenel
  • October 3, 2011, 12:26 pm
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