The 5 Scariest Things in the Ocean

As you all know, we as a human race know more about the surface of the moon than we do about the bottom of the ocean. The moon, ironically, has considerably less organisms on it that make us think of aliens. Here is the countdown of the five scariest things that our ocean has to offer:

#5... The Sunfish

You're swimming along in the ocean when you spot a dark shape in the water. When it comes in to view, it doesn't look like it could hurt you.

sunfish - the 5 scariest things in the ocean

Then you notice it's size...

sunfish 2 - the 5 scariest things in the ocean

That's right. The Sunfish, with a length of 6 feet and a weight of 2200 pounds IS BIG ENOUGH TO EAT YOU IF IT FEELS LIKE IT. Luckily, the Sunfish is an herbivore. But it still makes you wonder if it ever gets the munchies for the little people hanging out on the beach.

#4... The Blobfish

blobfish - the 5 scariest things in the ocean

Ugh.. that's just sick. It looks like something a Sunfish sneezed up. Can you imagine stepping on that? The Blobfish is usually found off the coast of Australia, and is thankfully a deep sea fish, so you won't have to worry about washing this guy off your feet after a trip to the beach. They usually eat deep sea crustaceans, and... oh god, I almost just peed myself trying to imagine it eating... let's move on, shall we?

#3... The Hagfish

So say you took an eel... then put glands into it that expelled what looked like snot and replaced it's face with tentacles.

hagfish - the 5 scariest things in the ocean

Hagfish are about 18 inches in length and, when they are startled or threatened, produce a copious amount of slime all over the place. To watch a charming video about his, click on the link:

It just doesn't stop, does it? They eat dead marine animals, making them the snotty vultures of the sea. What ho! Another gag inducing video!

Let's move on to the next animal while I rinse the vomit off of my keyboard.

#2... The Sea Lamprey

Much like the Hagfish, the Sea Lamprey is pretty much a jacked-up eel. It feeds by using it's mouth (think Satan's cookie cutter) to suck the blood out of it's prey.

sea lamprey

It can grow to 35.5 inches long, and leaves bloody marks on all of it's victims that it doesn't kill.

sea lamprey wounds

Their victims usually die from blood loss because the Lamprey has keratin on it's teeth, a chemical that stops blood from clotting. So whereas the Hagfish is the vulture of the sea, the Sea Lamprey is the mosquito. The 3-foot tall mosquito that half drains you and leaves you to die on the ground.

#1... The Vampire Squid

vampire squid

Doesn't look too bad, right? Oh wait... what's that inside his tentacles?

vampire squid 2

Yeah. It has teeth. On it's tentacles. It's scientific name, Vampyroteuthis infernalis, literally translates to "vampire squid from Hell". It reaches about 1 foot in length, and besides looking like it eats nightmares it isn't too dangerous to humans. It, like the Blobfish, is a deep sea animal. We don't really know what it eats, so in all honesty it probably DOES eat nightmares. They possess bioluminescent glands on the ends of their tentacles, proving that even underwater vampires can't escape being sparkly.

This is my first post, so feel free to give feedback or to list your OWN list of scary underwater creatures. Thanks!

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  • 2

    Nice post dude, original :)

  • 1

    Thanks a lot. I spearfish regularly. Just what I need to pop into my head everytime I see a shadow.

    Always happy to help
    - Fusefire November 6, 2012, 3:23 pm
  • 1

    Take it from me you've missed one.

    Last time I was scuba diving the largest shoal of Barracuda you can imagine came into view. That was scary.

    • Math
    • November 6, 2012, 3:48 pm
  • 1

    Great post +3

    • Rmax
    • November 6, 2012, 7:16 pm
  • 1

    One you forgot
    1 - the 5 scariest things in the ocean

    • Xanderh
    • November 6, 2012, 10:46 pm
  • 1

    Why do you emphasise the disgustingness of each animal? I'd say they're all pretty awesome.
    Also I wonder how much a jar of hagfish slime costs...

    They're all cool, but I mean... look at them... yuck.
    - Fusefire November 7, 2012, 7:21 am
  • 1

    lol, that blobfish is pretty gross!
    Good post+3

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