TOP 10 funniest one-liners on the internet!

1
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

3
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

5
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

6
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

9
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

10
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong

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  • 4

    That's called a no-liner... no one really likes those.

    Reply
  • 4

    Yeah no-liners are what kill a good post

    • wertz3
    • November 10, 2009, 4:46 pm
    Reply
  • 3

    number 9 is awesome lol

    • ew1090
    • August 3, 2009, 11:05 am
    Reply
  • 2

    10 and 6... both funny and true.

    Reply
  • 2

    I just wonder how many more of those there are..Funny as hell though. +3

    Reply
  • 2

    Epicness all around XD

    Reply
  • 1

    omg lmaO LOLZ

    Reply
  • 1

    #5 gets a plus 3

    Reply
  • 1

    5 is bomb... good stuff find more

    Reply
  • 1

    absolutely!!! :D

    Reply
  • 1

    ahaha i love 1-5

    Reply
  • 1

    Never hit a man with glasses. Always use something much bigger and heavier

    • Jozzoh
    • November 16, 2009, 12:25 am
    Reply
  • 1

    :P funny +3

    Reply
  • 1

    7 is true, and thats kinda sad

    • Gavin54
    • December 9, 2009, 7:58 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Man 1: Hey, if you looked stupid up in the dictionary there would be a picture of you next to it!
    Man 2: Well at least i dont have to look up the word stupid in a dictionary and my dictionary hasn't got pictures in it you moron!

    • Tiggy
    • December 14, 2009, 8:41 am
    Reply
  • 1

    just not funny anymore

    • sk8er14
    • December 18, 2009, 5:09 am
    Reply
  • 1

    I love all these one lol

    Reply
  • 1

    ZINGED

    • BEASTY
    • January 4, 2010, 7:10 am
    Reply
  • 1

    9's great man!

    • Simmo49
    • January 18, 2010, 5:30 am
    Reply
  • 0

    Sweet post

    • peace
    • January 18, 2010, 9:35 am
    Reply
  • -10

    Reply
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