Mario vs. The Police

Mario

Is there a problem, officer?
Cop

Quite a few, actually. First off, you’re speeding.
Mario

I’m trying to win a race.
Cop

Illegal street racing on the wrong side of the highway?
Mario

Well when you put it like that…
Cop

And littering. That banana peel you threw back there caused an accident.
Mario

Yeah, about the banana. Wario was all up in my sh*t so I had to send him packing.
Cop

I’ll also have to write you up for endangering a child.
Mario

Oh, because I’ve got Baby Luigi with me? He’s fine. Not a bad racer himself.
Cop

You…you let the baby drive for you?
Mario

It’s not a big deal. If he careens off a cliff, that flying turtle guy will pull us out with his fishing pole.
Cop

...Did you take any drugs before you started driving today, sir?
Mario

No, but I picked up some mushrooms while I was driving today.
Cop

Sir, step out of the car.
Mario

Listen, officer. Maybe we can work something out. How about a hundred gold coins?
Cop

I’m not taking bribes! And where the hell did you get so much gold!?
Mario

I punched a bunch of bricks.
Cop

Step. Out. Of. The. Car.
Mario

Fine. But not finishing this race is going to kill my chances at the Star Cup. You’re practically handing it to Donkey Kong.
Cop

...Donkey Kong?
Mario

He’s a gorilla.
Cop

You were racing a gorilla?
Mario

And various dinosaur mutants. Also, more babies.

  • Disco
  • August 27, 2010, 1:55 pm
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