The nudist distracted the guards so the prohet of dooom could free the necromancer. the necromancer then resurrected the skeleton who used to be the ringmaster. the ringmaster had whipped the bear so viciously that it mauled the ringmaster until he became the corpse. the bear continued to maul the corpse until it became the headless man. the headless man was made into a puppet by the three witches, forced to forever search for his the floating skull. in his travels, the headless man met the magic cow who told him that he could regain his head if he defeated the giant cat.the headless man did epic battle with the giant cat and was about to fell the beast when he was distracted by a the nudist and was thus mauled by the cat.

[cool concept but it requires more rules, maybe make a grid with all of the characters in boxes and you have to use a character adjacent to the one you used in your last sentence.]

WHERE'S CHUCK NORRIS??? You can't have the word 'epic' without the Chuck being involved

medieval Europe, a time where power was held by the elite, the twins kaolc and reggad are the top assassins in the kingdom who kill for the highest bid. one night they are called ti the inn by the innkeeper a portly man of great wealth they're assignment kill the king of a rival kingdom who has been waging war for the past decade. as the twins assignment begins they trek as wanderers, coming up to the castle walls the guards walk by 2 scarecrows little do they know that these are no ordinary scarecrows but really they are the twins as the guards pass they are taken out but the brothers, their uniforms will come in handy in infiltrating the castle, once in the castle the brothers stash they're disguises and try to find the target. the king an old man is expecting nothing as he retires to his chambers for the night his nurse and other servants help him into bed. as the door closes the brothers enter through the window as a knight guards the chamber door, a snake will do nicely one says to the other as he takes the coral snake out of a bag and slips it into the the covers of the bed, by morning the king will be nothing more than a corpse, they slip out of the castle unseen and exit as visitors, they return home waiting for their next assignment. FIN

While the priest was giving the boy a prostate exam. The King ate some epic bacon with the magic cow. And the bear danced all night long to the headless man playing the flute.

WAS AN EPIC NIGHT FOR MONKEY.