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Picture it now, steep hillsides with mountains stretching far into the distance, with grass intermittent with bare stone. This, is Kazakhstan.

Is this not the epitome of a former Soviet state? Certainly there's Turkmenistan and Azerbaijan, but do they really have the innate character of Kazakhstan? No, they do not.

darmen - kazakhstan
You see this man? This, sir or madam, is Darmen Sadvakasov, chess grandmaster. He is the very best of all Kazakhstan's sports persons, moving pieces across the board in a frenzied blur. If he asked to sleep with your wife, you'd likely say no, but he's fine with that.

And who's this Kazakh, I hear you ask? This, is Bukhar-zhirau Kalmakanov, famed composer. With a name like that, it's no wonder he died alone. It was even said that he repelled women in a 300 yard radius of him.

dictionary - kazakhstan
Можете вы прочитать это? Нет? Хорошее that' s потому что Kazakhstani и чем половина имеет страну говорит язык. Я был слишком ленив для того чтобы перевести его правильно поэтому я использовал интернет. Проблема?

Ah, yes, pole toppling. Despite being perfected in Japan, it was indeed originally a Kazakhstani sport. Such notable players include Nurbol Zhumaskaliyev, Yerdos Zhanabergenov and Radik Zhaparov.

Now for the matter of history. In Kazakhstan's span of existence, lasting over 600 years, it has seen the rise and fall of very little, besides it's own economy. Despite this, it has been invaded a whopping twenty times, and has only invaded one country... the now nonexistant Kokturk State.

Be honest, how long did you honestly think it would be until a picture of Borat was included? To conclude, it is clear that Kazakhstan is the creepy guy at the bus stop, trying to sell dying flowers to the general public for cocaine. Kazakhstan has not only sat back and watched history, it had been on the receiving end. And they invented the mankini. IT'S NICE!
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Posted: 2011-06-01 03:41:05

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