Your Mum's so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought EastEnders was ending

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What's E.T short for?

Because he's got little legs.

What do you call a woman with an opinion?


How do you fix a woman's watch?

No need, there's a clock on the oven.

I'm constantly on instant messenger, chat rooms and facebook, and because of this my girlfriend says I'm unable to show emotion.

I was surprised, so I pulled this face :-O

Took a girl home last night, she was gagging for it.
No, sorry - gagged.
Always get my tenses mixed up.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.

So here I am in the Internet Cafe with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.

  • Dannyl
  • February 1, 2010, 7:06 am
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