Jewish jokes :] (Possible NSFW?)

I have a friend of hebrew descent who enjoys jokes of his people, and he likes to crack a few himself. Here's a few we've discussed, or have been discovered around the net.

**P.S. I do not agree with, nor do I condone any racist remarks. They're just jokes! I labeled this "possibly NSFW" because if someone is offended you'll lose your job or be declared intolerant, and it would be my fault.
Why do jews have such big noses?
-The air is free.

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
-Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Why did Hitler really kill himself?
-He saw his gas bill.

Two Jewish men walk into a pub, and one says to the other: "Hey, have you heard the one about us?"

-How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper? They put them in the car.

-It’s one of life’s mysteries – how a 2lb. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lbs.

-"And Moses said unto the lord, “We are your chosen people, and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?”"

-"It won’t be long now”, said the rabbi as he circumcised the little boy.

How many Jewish folks does it take to change a light bulb?
-Eh, don't bother. They'll just sit there in the dark.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
-A canoe can tip.

How many jews can you fit into a mid-sized car?
-30. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and another 25 in the ash tray.

Jewish Pokemon names:
-The Blech

Family Guy Jewish bits!:

Surely there's more to come if asked, but feel free to post some of your own!

You might be interested


Reply Attach
  • 5

    If a jew has an erection and walks into a wall, what hits the wall first? His nose.

  • 3

    Jew pickup lines rofl

    Hey baby, are you jewish? Cause youre on fire.

  • 2

    whats the diference between a jew and a pizza?
    pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven

    why do jews blacks and asians hate rollercosters?
    because is goes "chink chink nigga-nigga...jewjewjew"

  • 2

    What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
    -Michael Phelps can finish a race.

    omg.. haha

    • Stoy
    • July 23, 2010, 8:17 pm
  • 2

    You knew it was coming

    derekpikajew - jewish jokes :] (possible nsfw?)

    • BEASTY
    • August 1, 2010, 10:26 am
  • 1

    Pika-jew for the win. :] +1 for you.

  • 1

    What is the difference between boy scouts and Jews?
    -Boy scouts come back from their camps.

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