Jewish jokes :] (Possible NSFW?)
I have a friend of hebrew descent who enjoys jokes of his people, and he likes to crack a few himself. Here's a few we've discussed, or have been discovered around the net.
**P.S. I do not agree with, nor do I condone any racist remarks. They're just jokes! I labeled this "possibly NSFW" because if someone is offended you'll lose your job or be declared intolerant, and it would be my fault.
==================================
Why do jews have such big noses?
-The air is free.
What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
-Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Why did Hitler really kill himself?
-He saw his gas bill.
Two Jewish men walk into a pub, and one says to the other: "Hey, have you heard the one about us?"
-How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper? They put them in the car.
-It’s one of life’s mysteries – how a 2lb. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lbs.
-"And Moses said unto the lord, “We are your chosen people, and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?”"
-"It won’t be long now”, said the rabbi as he circumcised the little boy.
How many Jewish folks does it take to change a light bulb?
-Eh, don't bother. They'll just sit there in the dark.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
-A canoe can tip.
How many jews can you fit into a mid-sized car?
-30. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and another 25 in the ash tray.
Jewish Pokemon names:
-Gefilte
-Shmegege
-Meshugeneh
-Pick-a-Jew
-Yahrtzeits
-The Blech
-Plagamincha
-Shabbos
-Shucklepuff
Family Guy Jewish bits!:
===================
Surely there's more to come if asked, but feel free to post some of your own!
**P.S. I do not agree with, nor do I condone any racist remarks. They're just jokes! I labeled this "possibly NSFW" because if someone is offended you'll lose your job or be declared intolerant, and it would be my fault.
==================================
Why do jews have such big noses?
-The air is free.
What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
-Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Why did Hitler really kill himself?
-He saw his gas bill.
Two Jewish men walk into a pub, and one says to the other: "Hey, have you heard the one about us?"
-How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper? They put them in the car.
-It’s one of life’s mysteries – how a 2lb. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lbs.
-"And Moses said unto the lord, “We are your chosen people, and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?”"
-"It won’t be long now”, said the rabbi as he circumcised the little boy.
How many Jewish folks does it take to change a light bulb?
-Eh, don't bother. They'll just sit there in the dark.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
-A canoe can tip.
How many jews can you fit into a mid-sized car?
-30. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and another 25 in the ash tray.
Jewish Pokemon names:
-Gefilte
-Shmegege
-Meshugeneh
-Pick-a-Jew
-Yahrtzeits
-The Blech
-Plagamincha
-Shabbos
-Shucklepuff
Family Guy Jewish bits!:
===================
Surely there's more to come if asked, but feel free to post some of your own!
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Posted: 2010-07-19 20:11:18
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Jew pickup lines rofl
Hey baby, are you jewish? Cause youre on fire.
Hey baby, are you jewish? Cause youre on fire.
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