Is Google God?

Proof of God - Is Google God? - Church of Google

» PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

» PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

» PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

» PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

» PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

» PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

» PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

» PROOF #8

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

PROOF #9

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

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Comments

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  • 5

    a zebra has stripes, not spots.

    Reply
  • 3

    The Terminator Prophecy is coming true - Someone needs to Kill GOOGLE before it becomes self-aware !!!!!!!

    epic win
    - Vans October 25, 2010, 6:12 am
    Reply
  • 3

    a zebra cant change his spots

    Reply
  • 3

    win

    • Dannyl
    • December 18, 2009, 2:49 am
    Reply
  • 2

    agreed... lets ask Al Gore how to stop the internet. (since he invented it) lol! that will stop google!

    Reply
  • 2

    Google is obviously a He. If it was a She, would you really go to Google for directions?

    • Albane
    • October 25, 2010, 9:41 am
    Reply
  • 1

    PRAISE THE ALMIGHT GOOGLE!

    • Gavin54
    • December 17, 2009, 6:01 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Google owns...

    Reply
  • 1

    Too late, Google Skynet

    Reply
  • 1

    Reply
  • 1

    Yeah but Google can't get some chick pregnant, let alone get some chick pregnant then leave and never be heard from again.

    • Dannyl
    • December 18, 2009, 2:46 am
    Stealin my line.
    - FireRoastedFire October 25, 2010, 6:09 am
    what?
    - Dannyl October 25, 2010, 6:29 am
    Reply
  • 1

    god is a misconception

    • BEASTY
    • February 15, 2010, 12:24 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Google is great

    • peace
    • February 15, 2010, 1:01 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    or can it???

    Reply
  • 1

    he will jsut tell us to stop throwing garbage around the internet :P

    Reply
  • 1

    *Converts to googlism*

    Reply
  • 1

    i can prove number 7 wrong but the rest is good

    • hightec
    • September 12, 2010, 12:06 pm
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  • 1

    I hold my Logistical status, but Google fits well. God, maybe not. Omnipresent, not without internet. Good theory though, and funny as hell.

    Oh, as for #5, that is incorrect. The internet cannot grow forever at it's current rate of growth. If they manage to switch to the newer fiber optic servers they speak so highly of, then possibly for millenia, but never forever. Everything has a limit.

    Reply
  • 1

    Anybody who honestly worships a search engine is very mentally disturbed . . .

    Reply
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