How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you


  • Kakuzu
  • February 20, 2009, 3:28 pm
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  • 1

    oh shit i'm in a staring contest with my cat! HALP!

    Reply
  • 1

    And thus is my reason for being a dog person

    Reply
  • 1

    1825 points?! Jesus christ....

    • Ertrov
    • May 23, 2012, 3:56 pm
    Mother of posts ;).
    - JV34 May 23, 2012, 4:21 pm
    I've seen bigger.
    - Disco May 23, 2012, 8:08 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    so thats why my cat tried to cut my throat with a kitchen knife

    Reply
  • -3

    Stolen from theoatmeal dot com, without crediting the original author. Weak.

    this was credited to the author try clicking the link at the bottom it has a direct link to his site. do research before claiming this shit. the site it links to may be his old one as this was posted about three years ago.
    - 24paperwings March 2, 2012, 2:13 pm
    Who's weak now BITCH?


    - MalverdeAl100 May 23, 2012, 1:00 pm
    >mfw epic bump
    - Disco May 23, 2012, 5:52 pm
    >mfw you think 1 hour is an epic bump


    - MalverdeAl100 May 23, 2012, 6:25 pm
    >mfw when that was actually 2 months.. and the guy who bumped 2 months ago bumped a year old post.
    - Disco May 23, 2012, 8:07 pm
    >"mfw when"
    >lol

    >mfw i don't have a face




    - MalverdeAl100 May 23, 2012, 8:14 pm
    >mfw face when your face is ugly!
    - Disco May 24, 2012, 6:52 am
    >"mfw face when"?
    >lololol

    >mfw you're on a roll messing up yfw


    - MalverdeAl100 May 24, 2012, 2:52 pm
    >mfw my face when I don't give a shit
    - Disco May 24, 2012, 5:38 pm
    >mfw you McFucked up and you're trying to play it off like you don't care, but deep down i know you do


    - MalverdeAl100 May 25, 2012, 3:36 am
    Reply
  • -32

    Funny as hell... +3

    Reply
  • -33

    i knew this was gunna happen...they cant trick me!!!

    Reply
  • -33

    You're a walking dead man.

    • kiro
    • March 16, 2009, 9:06 am
    Reply
  • -34

    My cat acts exactly the same, should I start worrying? :) Good stuff, +3.

    • Paul
    • February 21, 2009, 6:53 am
    Reply
  • -35

    ....and the whole time I always thought the dead birds by my bedside were becuase my kitty loved me. :(

    Reply
  • -36

    Your cat is a pussy.

    Reply
  • -37

    lol. awsome

    • pothole
    • February 24, 2009, 5:58 am
    Reply
  • -37

    I HATE CATS

    • 9krab
    • February 26, 2009, 4:25 pm
    Reply
  • -37

    Nice, I always thought there was something fishy about my sister's cat!

    Reply
  • -37

    my cat used to do this but now i think she cant be stuffed anymore. shes too old. +3 XD

    Reply
  • -37

    should i be scared cuz my cat<s> has be planing to kill me for the past 2 weeks!!! XD ♪♫♪♫

    Reply
  • -37

    if i'm dead tomarow you know who did it

    • ember
    • May 7, 2009, 2:48 pm
    Reply
  • -38

    haha! i love it

    • pyroman
    • February 21, 2009, 7:02 pm
    Reply
  • -38

    That is why i hate cats bec they are out to get you. LOL

    • aw1313
    • February 23, 2009, 6:39 am
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  • -38

    xD

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  • -38

    +3

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  • -38

    haha lol my cat does it runs away ....

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  • -38

    my cat is goin to kill me =[

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  • -38

    Haha Win!
    Worst part is that sometimes my old cats used to do a lot of those things.
    All 3 of them.
    Something different.
    Constantly.

    Reply
  • -38

    oh no my cat does all those things and he is black so im f**kED

    • Jenks
    • June 18, 2009, 2:20 am
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  • -38

    OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!! My cat has done all of these

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  • -38

    my cat is definitely trying to kill me maybe i should get rid of it

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  • -38

    3+ my cat has tried ll these things but now i carry my 18 cal riffle with me so shes been hiding ever since ty u saved me!

    Reply
  • -38

    gtfo that is lmao---- computer language sucks

    Reply
  • -38

    o-oh

    Reply
  • -38

    HAHA!

    • Math
    • July 24, 2009, 12:39 pm
    Reply
  • -38

    oh man... i dont trust my cat any more.... its been trying to kill me the whole time...

    Reply
  • -38

    its not really a cat, its a robot spy from russia

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:55 am
    Reply
  • -38

    this is y we have dogs :)

    • Viermo
    • November 10, 2009, 12:10 pm
    Dogs are no better.
    - arrowdodger7 October 14, 2010, 8:56 am
    Reply
  • -38

    this is not funny oh wait i am just playing

    Reply
  • -38

    Guess it's time to kill my cat, before it gets me >_>

    • Junkie
    • November 19, 2009, 6:25 pm
    Reply
  • -38

    I love having a dog

    • peace
    • January 17, 2010, 9:20 am
    Reply
  • -38

    jow do you tell if your dog is planning on killing u? seriously i think my dog is planning to kill me

    • kyrbi
    • January 26, 2010, 3:19 pm
    Reply
  • -38

    i got a blow up dog mans best friend...... with benefits

    Reply
  • -39

    awesome +3 =]

    Reply
  • -39

    i seriously hate cats lol

    • DGK09
    • April 27, 2009, 12:20 pm
    Reply
  • -39

    there is another way to tell

    if you are laying on your side & your kitten sits on your cheek...its actually trying to sit in the middle of your face to smother you.

    i know that because my kitten did that to me the first few nights we got her. my mom got so scared that she gave it away!

    Reply
  • -39

    lmao

    • ew1090
    • April 29, 2009, 8:43 am
    Reply
  • -39

    +3 i love it and btw my cat does this and thats cause she loves me due to the fact of ther trying to kill me by laying on the staris and swipping at my wrists.

    Reply
  • -39

    lol cats suck

    Reply
  • -39

    lol

    • Jenks
    • June 25, 2009, 3:42 am
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  • -39

    I have 6 cats... God help me.

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  • -39

    lol

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  • -39

    i m goin to keep an i on my cat now

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  • -39

    Thats why i dont have a cat

    Reply
  • -39

    lol im off to fight my cat +3

    • alex123
    • September 9, 2009, 1:36 pm
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  • -39

    i dont have a cat... :'(

    Reply
  • -39

    very fun to read.
    +3

    Reply
  • -39

    well i need to write my will because that is my cat in a nutshell

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  • -39

    good thing I got a big ass dog to gaurd my ass ;) --mans best friend for a reason +3

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  • -39

    sik lol

    Reply
  • -39

    My cat does all of these!

    • fellage
    • October 11, 2009, 4:02 am
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  • -39

    omg im keeping aa close eye on my kitty!

    • jimbar
    • October 17, 2009, 12:00 pm
    Reply
  • -39

    uh oh

    Reply
  • -39

    that is gonna be one hell of an ambush i suggest u carry a shot gun with you at all times you know just to be safe

    • stewiz
    • October 23, 2009, 3:52 pm
    Reply
  • -39

    Uh-oh I think my cat is trying to kill me

    • wertz3
    • October 24, 2009, 2:10 pm
    Reply
  • -39

    your cat will own you

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:51 am
    Reply
  • -39

    we are all screwed

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:52 am
    Reply
  • -39

    thats what she said

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:52 am
    Reply
  • -39

    jimbar, you gotta sleep sometime `:{

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:53 am
    Reply
  • -39

    that sign is awesome... oh and you need a 12 gauge for your cat

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:57 am
    Reply
  • -39

    damn straight

    • tu9p
    • October 29, 2009, 5:58 am
    Reply
  • -39

    it just tried to smother me... im scared...

    Reply
  • -39

    my cat's out to get me for sure!

    • wertz3
    • November 8, 2009, 4:16 am
    Reply
  • -39

    NNNOOO I'm going to die!!!!!!!why,why,why,why,wwwhhhhhhyyyy!!!!!!!.....
    wait I don't have a cat o_O

    Reply
  • -39

    Umm...help?

    • Wupwup
    • January 17, 2010, 12:04 pm
    Reply
  • -39

    my cat is actually laying down on my chest right now.... its probably pretending to be asleep....oh no it knows i know....wheres my dog when hes needed!!!

    • Kiiwii
    • March 7, 2010, 6:10 am
    Reply
  • -39

    holy shit these all happen on a daily basis.. im gonna die!! shit shit
    o.o

    Reply
  • -39

    I am so screwed. I HAVE SIX CATS~

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  • -39

    D: oh gawd lol

    Reply
  • -39

    NOO!!!! THIS IS A SURE SIGN< WHEN MY CAT WAS WALKING AROUND WITH A KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH I GOT SUSPISOUS!!..... they will never find hhis body!

    Reply
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