Hell Explained

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The following is an actual question given on university of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleaser of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely... I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

This student received an A+


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Posted: 2009-10-28 19:07:18
Psst.

Responses (41) / Sorted by points

Dragkyre
Dragkyre
Rank: #38
dude.... this guy is the definition of awesome
Posted: 2009-11-11 02:52:29 Report Reply
stewiz
stewiz
Rank: #129
lol thats queit funny
Posted: 2009-11-09 10:20:09 Report Reply
North
North
Rank: #842
that guy deserves numerous 'hi fives', not only because he absolutly OWNED the theory of hell and heaven, but because he got laid aswell.
Posted: 2009-11-11 02:11:37 Report Reply
that was rediculously awesome
Posted: 2009-11-11 06:05:44 Report Reply
Kradon666
Kradon666
Rank: #46
If only I could write a paper like that.... Most professors would call it illogical and irrelevant.
Posted: 2009-11-11 06:22:58 Report Reply
gwa2003
gwa2003
Rank: #70
nice. +3 explained it a whole lot better than i ever could.
Posted: 2009-11-11 13:00:25 Report Reply
That is horribly fantastic! +3 for being the best student ever!
Posted: 2009-11-11 13:49:08 Report Reply
I don't know what to say. That was fucking bad ass! +2 for the question and answer, then +1 for getting laid. :D
Posted: 2009-11-11 15:07:04 Report Reply
Wow that guy is awesome he not only is hilarious and got an A+ in College but got laid an the whole world knows it

+3 for you my friend
Posted: 2009-11-11 15:41:28 Report Reply
This comment is below viewing threshold (Show Comment)
its an okay thought, but its human instint to 'do it.'
So if you wanna bitch and moan about how we 'sound like we haven't been laid,'
keep in mind that we aren't all obsessed with getting laid.
Posted: 2009-11-30 09:19:15 Report Reply
Barbazul
Barbazul
Rank: #261
I've been laid many times. And i have to say that is exactly why i am obsessed with it. But hey, maybe that's just me.
Posted: 2010-01-29 15:09:52 Report Reply
wertz3
wertz3
Rank: #322
that is quite funny
Posted: 2009-11-11 15:44:02 Report Reply
SuperPost
SuperPost
Rank: #93
hahahahahaha so frikin funny... +3
Posted: 2009-11-11 16:08:13 Report Reply
cmlh2012
cmlh2012
Rank: #479
Halfway through, i was smiling. By the end i was in hysterics. +3
Posted: 2009-11-11 17:10:46 Report Reply
lmao that was great
Posted: 2009-11-11 19:06:08 Report Reply
SuperPost
SuperPost
Rank: #93
uh.... my head hurts... to much sciency stuff.... +3
Posted: 2009-11-12 05:15:36 Report Reply
MTFunk
Rank: #2255
that was brilliant! what a legend

+3
Posted: 2009-11-15 17:39:49 Report Reply
Stoy
Stoy
Rank: #105
how could you not get an A on that... A+ was well deserved..well written my friend, i really want to meet him lol...thats epic
Posted: 2009-11-15 18:08:22 Report Reply
i wish my mind was that analytical and decisive. i wish i could write in such an intricate manner like this person has just demonstrated. +3
Posted: 2009-11-15 18:30:50 Report Reply
shin1443
Rank: #1249
Dude, that's the most epic thing I've ever seen! XD
Posted: 2009-11-15 19:39:35 Report Reply
That's the most bad ass thing I've ever read . +3 my friend (;
Posted: 2009-11-15 20:02:13 Report Reply
Chuck Norris just threw up his spine listening to that...no, it's more awesome than that. This man stopped the unstoppable force, and moved the immovable object at the same time, in different directions!!! +3 damn it!
Posted: 2009-11-15 21:02:04 Report Reply
wolfman
wolfman
Rank: #155
i only have one word for this: EPIC
Posted: 2009-11-16 15:24:19 Report Reply
lol i wish i could be like that
Posted: 2009-11-17 10:56:45 Report Reply
glad you all enjoyed it.
Posted: 2009-11-17 11:01:20 Report Reply
therover
therover
Rank: #549
Was it published?
Posted: 2009-12-08 09:19:13 Report Reply
Kaeso
Kaeso
Rank: #557
Wow!
Posted: 2009-12-08 09:55:25 Report Reply
Gavin54
Gavin54
Rank: #319
Thats Is amazing!
Posted: 2009-12-09 07:40:16 Report Reply
Jofus1992
Jofus1992
Rank: #68
That was interesting. I don't agree with what he said but he was most definatly an inteligent individual.
Posted: 2009-12-27 16:43:32 Report Reply
DocSir
Rank: #447
What a great idealogical view on heaven and hell ^^ +3
Posted: 2009-12-27 17:13:03 Report Reply
peace
peace
Rank: #56
That was a legendary guy
Posted: 2010-01-18 14:56:54 Report Reply
only one word fits: brilliant:D +3
Posted: 2010-03-06 11:52:35 Report Reply
i think he just wanted to brag about nailin teresa but thats just my idea
Posted: 2010-03-16 20:49:22 Report Reply
probably, but he still wins. lol. Because this guy has won in more than one way.
Posted: 2010-04-17 17:08:08 Report Reply
Mizuno
Mizuno
Rank: #245
this Guy is a freaken genius!!
Posted: 2010-04-09 10:49:27 Report Reply
Nightmare
Nightmare
Rank: #87
hahaha insanely epic! +3
Posted: 2010-04-20 03:07:42 Report Reply

so much win I just want you to hold me s445x496 61840 580 - Hell Explained

Posted: 2010-09-04 20:30:42 Report Reply
Jabori
Jabori
Rank: #242
since hell has frozen over i belive i have some dates tonight lmao +3
Posted: 2010-09-23 06:17:38 Report Reply
Kodi93
Kodi93
Rank: #176
FTW XD

hell freezes over - Hell Explained

Posted: 2011-05-11 05:36:34 Report Reply
That was perfectly brilliant.
Posted: 2011-05-11 06:03:39 Report Reply

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ShadydingoPosted by:
Shadydingo
Rank: #224

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