Hell Explained
The following is an actual question given on university of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleaser of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely... I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
This student received an A+
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleaser of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely... I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
This student received an A+
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Posted: 2009-10-28 19:07:18
Psst.
Responses (41) / Sorted by points
That is horribly fantastic! +3 for being the best student ever!
I don't know what to say. That was fucking bad ass! +2 for the question and answer, then +1 for getting laid. :D
Wow that guy is awesome he not only is hilarious and got an A+ in College but got laid an the whole world knows it
+3 for you my friend
+3 for you my friend
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its an okay thought, but its human instint to 'do it.'
So if you wanna bitch and moan about how we 'sound like we haven't been laid,'
keep in mind that we aren't all obsessed with getting laid.
So if you wanna bitch and moan about how we 'sound like we haven't been laid,'
keep in mind that we aren't all obsessed with getting laid.
i wish my mind was that analytical and decisive. i wish i could write in such an intricate manner like this person has just demonstrated. +3
That's the most bad ass thing I've ever read . +3 my friend (;
Chuck Norris just threw up his spine listening to that...no, it's more awesome than that. This man stopped the unstoppable force, and moved the immovable object at the same time, in different directions!!! +3 damn it!
i think he just wanted to brag about nailin teresa but thats just my idea
probably, but he still wins. lol. Because this guy has won in more than one way.

