Hard questions

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


Source: Spongefish

  • Mindze
  • July 22, 2008, 10:29 am
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  • 9

    Actually, if we all want to get technical here, there are two theories to answer the speed of darkness question.

    Darkness is the absence of light. Theoretically it is not a physical thing like light, so the laws and measurements of physical things, like kph or mph, do not apply. Light is technically made up of photons. The less photons there are, the less color there is. If there are no photons, then there are no colors, and darkness just remains. Photons move, darkness doesn't. So technically, darkness isn't a matter that can be measured. Take what my teacher in my physics class used as an example. A table is darkness. A table cloth is light. As a table cloth is placed on a table, it covers the table (thus being darkness). If you remove the table cloth (color) all that remains is the table (darkness). The table cloth (color) can move. The table (darkness) doesn't.

    Another theory is what ghettoshen suggested. Because of Newtons third law, which states that everything has an equal and opposite reaction, that would mean that light and dark are essentially equals, and thus have the same speed.

    Of course, these are all just theories, and no one has come alone to prove them. Now, who says American high school students aren't smart? =P

    Reply
  • 4

    I got an answer to "What is the speed of darkness?"

    The speed of darkness is the same as the speed of light because light leaves as fast as it enters and when there's no light there's darkness.

    Nice questions. (+3)

    Reply
  • 2

    my freezer has a light in it.

    • wolfman
    • August 11, 2009, 12:47 pm
    Reply
  • 2

    lol I learnt alot from that comment

    Reply
  • 2

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    Its a cartoon dude

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
    Laziness

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
    this is the US dude,..


    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    cuz it wasnt only used for protection...it helped in many ways so that the Kamikazes could be more accurate with their target..

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
    cause paints easier to check


    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
    the word is suppose to sound simular to the problem faced by the person with the lisp in a more general form to understand ..

    What is the speed of darkness?
    thats just the absence of light..so yeah..

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
    they still get more sleep a day then older people..and they supposable have better sleeps in those 2 hours anyway

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
    thats just a figure of speech...it applies to almost all temperatures just to say its going to be a lot colder...

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
    every human lives compared to their physical and mental lifestyle...so it depends how that person feels about being married or single..

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    because AMERICA GOT LAZIER..that was for scientific and triumphant reasons...

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    to see the view from the angle and to feel how high up you are...its for the adventure..
    Did you ever stop and wonder......

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
    lmao...no
    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
    we it the chicken .. not its shit

    Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    some humans arent decent man

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
    freezers are more at head height and less packed so theres no need for the extra installment

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
    some people do dude.. just like how only some people acually point to their wrists

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
    so you can get ready for it..lmao

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    its a cartooon!!

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
    just tests...your just thinking wrong now..thats not hard to answer..

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
    you dont understand the concept man... its made from w/e its made from..not babies..

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    again...wtf, now you just askin 'moronic' question...and the word moron may have been formed in a similarity to the word MORality..

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    acually the l-m-n-o-p part of the alphabet is completely off of twinkle little star..plus that is a very basic and popular tune..

    Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
    illiterate doesnt mean they dont know what letters are... alphabet soup wasnt made to spell shit
    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    thats because you just blowing in his face...he sticks his head out of the car to observe the scenery as well..

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
    no

    • Stoy
    • August 20, 2009, 5:26 pm
    Reply
  • 2

    Idk, I actually thought the answers were more fun to read from Stoy. ^_^ It just shows how much brilliance you can bring into it =P

    Reply
  • 1

    If nothing sticks to teflon, how does teflon stick to the pans?

    And my personal favorite...

    If stuff on a ship is called cargo, why is stuff on a car called shipments?

    Reply
  • 1

    lol

    Reply
  • 1

    Hilarious!
    one more is
    "if a vegitarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?"
    lol

    Reply
  • 1

    Here's one "In the Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow got a brain, the Tin Man got a heart, the Lion got courage and Dorothy got to go home. What did Toto (Dorothy's dog) get?"

    Reply
  • 1

    omg these are hard questions

    • imcool
    • June 13, 2009, 10:29 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    I don't think that I could answer any of these.

    Reply
  • 1

    awesome. heard a few of these, but great post.

    Reply
  • 1

    3 x 10^8 meters/second, just for an exact number

    Reply
  • 1

    bacon, asnwer to one of your questions, teflon is held by gravity :) lol and i actually kind of thought of it the same way u did for speed of darkness

    Reply
  • 1

    awesome questions, especially the freezer one

    Reply
  • 1

    TESTICAL! i've said that joke many a time. +3

    Reply
  • 1

    darkness is definitely faster. what was there before light? darkness. light relies on a source to shine, darkness is gangster enough to provide for itself. black power...lol.

    Reply
  • 1

    hahahah

    Reply
  • 1

    why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
    would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    there are huge lists of these on the internet.
    but they are still funny after multiple readings

    Reply
  • 1

    my brain hurts

    Reply
  • 1

    i got the anser to this question (If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?) first of all zero wat and if its celcius thn that is just another scale of showing the tmperature the real measurment of tempreature is kelvin wich is basically -273 dgreese celcius as zero celcius is 273 kelvin the lowest temperatre is 0 kelvin (-273 clcius but i cba workin it out but if you can be botherd thats the scale u have to work of)
    btw i have a degree in mechanical engineering i know wat im talkin about

    • stewiz
    • August 14, 2009, 5:43 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    ffs i started to sing the next comment nearly made me piss my self

    • stewiz
    • August 14, 2009, 5:47 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Why is someone ON television but IN a movie?

    Reply
  • 1

    Actually cold and hot are feelings and can't be measured that way....which means there is no actual answer, its just one of those questions to get you to chuckle...

    Reply
  • 1

    mine to

    Reply
  • 1

    omg i love this post... ha plus 3

    Reply
  • 1

    Did you notice also baa baa black sheep has the same tune?

    Reply
  • 1

    i got i "friend" that says this is retarded. i dont beleve him +3

    • sky258
    • August 15, 2009, 3:55 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    also, teflon sitcks to the pan with a complicated sandblasting thing and they repeat that process over and over again.

    Reply
  • 1

    darkness was before light because there was no light

    Reply
  • 1

    to go home also

    Reply
  • 1

    nothing that the mass public sticks to teflon

    and the same as drive on the parkway, park on the driveway thing

    Reply
  • 1

    because that is the type of tv for example documentary or porno

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:03 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    well yeah ur right it should be wat temperature will it be 2moro just stated that u couldent figure it unless u use another type of measurment of temperature witch wouldent work anyway as there will always be a zero figure u but as kelvin is the true measurment of temperature it is possiable to work it out but it will be 546 kelvin so there is no real way to answer that question as the wording is all wrong

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:12 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    i think they got the phrases the wrong way round

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:15 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    get it right mate its (299 792 458 m / s) :p and for those hu have no idea wat that means 670 616 629 mph btw if u want to check the calcualtion is (299 792 458X(3600X1600))about

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:22 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    hu says british students aint smart :p

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:23 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    ahhhhhhhhh no1 is cookin me
    take my brother hes bigger the fat waste of alot of space

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:52 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    i cant check the calcualtion b/c my fulx compacator is not running at the moment...

    Reply
  • 1

    to die painfully of doggy sickness

    Reply
  • 1

    I could never do physics... :(
    So this makes absolutely no sense to me :)

    • SuDoku
    • August 25, 2009, 8:21 am
    Reply
  • 1

    i had nothing else to do...wtf

    • Stoy
    • September 14, 2009, 4:26 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Toto got a weekly salary of $125

    Reply
  • 1

    ANSWERS FOR 1ST PART!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Who cares?!? What doesn't he have a mastauche, huh?
    2. Flat batteries....?
    3. Because this is america and they enjoy being stupid :D
    4. BEcause they feel like it
    5. Because...wait...i don't do that!!(4 billion Stars my ass!)
    6. An idiot
    7. I'm not sure but it's faster then the speed of light.
    8. because when babies actually get sleep, they're quiet and peaceful
    9. 0- again
    10. They usally do live longer
    11.well, that's the world for you!
    12. because we'd much rather just look at from somewhere high then walk all the way over there to see it

    Reply
  • 1

    no its not they heat up the teflon then pour it on the pan and let it cool

    Reply
  • 1

    Hard questions but fun questions

    • wertz3
    • October 30, 2009, 2:56 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    there is no such thing as darkness or cold.
    simply the absence of light or heat
    you cant turn on a machine which will give out dark
    to make the room your in now dark you would simply get rid of any light.

    Reply
  • 1

    kamikaze means god of the wind. they were a platoon of pilots that if they had no chance of survival they would dive bomb.

    Reply
  • 1

    I'm so stuck

    • peace
    • March 22, 2010, 3:11 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    dude awesome funny question
    i can answer this one tests are testicles lolz +3

    Reply
  • 1

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    Because he's fictional.

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
    To see if there is but an ounce of energy left to change the channel, rather than get up; walk over to where the batteries are; put a battery in; walk back; sit down and press the button again.

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
    Because you are wasting their services by storing such a petty amount and thus need to be charged for the costs procured.

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    Just in case they crash before deployment, in which case they can try again.

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
    Because there will constantly be four billion stars and they cannot check this; whereas the paint will not always be wet and they can check this.

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
    The development of the English language through the ages didn't spare the advancement of others for those who have a speech impediment.

    What is the speed of darkness?
    The same as the speed of light. For light enters the 'room' as quickly as it departs.

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
    Because babies are associated with peace and calm. By making this referance, they are conveying this point clearly.

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
    This is to do with with how cold it feels, not how cold it is. If, on a scale of one to ten, zero feels about a four; tomorrow it'll be an eight.

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
    Married couples do live longer because they have a reliable life partner who (usually) does half of the chores, lightening the work load and securing longer periods of relaxation, thus descreasing stress etc.

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    Space exploration was a far more pressing matter for the various designers and engineers of the time. The amount of luggage was also considered not as copious or heavy as it is today.

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    Often, they look at things in the distance which they cannot see from the ground, gaining a better view point. It also interests people to see everyday life from a different perspective and act accordingly.

    Did you ever stop and wonder......
    No, I'm far to busy answering these questions.

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
    The natives of Europe in the early 1st Century, discovering that their calves drank from there until an advanced age.

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
    Eggs don't come out of a chickens bum, and also they must have eaten chicken first in order to experiment in the consumption of its produce.

    Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    That is to do with the type of bread, not the toaster. Home made bread is far harder to cook and thus needs a greater heat source to toast.

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
    Because food accessed at night is far more likely to be stored in the fridge. Not many people wake up at 2:00 am and fancy some ice cream.

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
    Because toilets aren't located on your bum, whereas watches are located on your wrist.

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
    So you can mentally prepare your self and not feel under constant scrutiny.

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    Again, it's fictional.

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
    Tests are testing (ha!).

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
    Various minerals processed to create an ointment that releives and hydrates the skin.

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    No, electricity come from the flow of electrons and the consequental friction. Morality come from our inert intuition developed through generations of evolution.

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    Because they are both learnt at an early age and thus make the learning of the foundation of the English language that much easier.

    Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
    I wasn;t singing.

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
    Most illiterate people are in less economically developed countries and are thus short of cash. I very much doubt that Alphabet soup is a readily available commodity in these areas. Also, people who do eat Alphabet soup don't get a thrilling sense of accomplishment when they recognise the letter 'f'.

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    Becuase you are blowing your breath, filled with various bacterium which consequently smells, into the face of an animal renowned for its nasal talents. True, dogs stick their heads out of the window to catch the smells outside, but this is not one consentrated personal odour.

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
    No, but it adds a concept of reassure and to the pusher, comforting them and cementing the belief that the elevator will eventually come.

    Reply
  • 1

    my deep freeze does

    Reply
  • 1

    yea cuz what about when you hold the pan upside down

    Reply
  • 1

    only h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p

    Reply
  • 1

    i will bring these up in class..

    Reply
  • 1

    HA!

    Reply
  • 1

    uhhhhh,
    Answer is pie r squared ????


    311798080v2147483647 480x480 front - hard questions

    Reply
  • 1

    1 meter = 1,650,763.73 wavelengths of radiation emitted by Krypton-86 atoms in a vacuum under an electrical discharge with spectroscopic notation 2p10 - 5d5

    Reply
  • 1

    Cold and heat aren't feelings, they're a measurement of friction, which makes things feel hot.

    Reply
  • 1

    sorry no speaky science

    Reply
  • 1

    I do, because unfortunately that was vastly inaccurate. Light isn't a "physical" thing, it has no mass. Most Americans are plain stupid, probably because Physics teachers teach random philosophy as opposed to actual science. And they often seem to pretend to be more intelligent than they are. ^

    Reply
  • 1

    "What is the speed of darkness?"
    "thats just the absence of light..so yeah.."

    Look at it like this; If darkness came first, wouldn't light be the absence of darkness? And if darkness has a speed, it is exactly related to the speed of light since light has an entering and exiting speed. Therefore, the speed of darkness would logically be both the speed of darkness exiting (light entering) AND darkness entering (light exiting). :)

    • Oteyo
    • May 20, 2010, 4:51 am
    Reply
  • 0

    awesome. heard a few of these, but great post.

    Reply
  • 0

    i think they got the phrases the wrong way round

    • stewiz
    • August 20, 2009, 5:15 pm
    Reply
  • 0

    Holy shit your a buzz kill... they're rhetorical for a reason man.

    Reply
  • 0

    I agree with nickalfaro, and think that your a smart-ass

    Reply
  • -1

    Whoa....I never thought of it that way...

    Reply
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