Hard questions
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Source: Spongefish
Banned from KMart...+94 points / Images
Pandemic 2+461 points / Flash
Sapper joke+73 points / Images
How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you+154 points / Images
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Source: Spongefish
Views: 4,151
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46
Posted: 2008-07-22 10:29:02
People who liked this post also liked
Banned from KMart...+94 points / ImagesPandemic 2+461 points / FlashSapper joke+73 points / ImagesHow to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you+154 points / ImagesResponses (53) / Sorted by points
Posted: 2009-01-03 10:01:07 Reply
Actually, if we all want to get technical here, there are two theories to answer the speed of darkness question.
Darkness is the absence of light. Theoretically it is not a physical thing like light, so the laws and measurements of physical things, like kph or mph, do not apply. Light is technically made up of photons. The less photons there are, the less color there is. If there are no photons, then there are no colors, and darkness just remains. Photons move, darkness doesn't. So technically, darkness isn't a matter that can be measured. Take what my teacher in my physics class used as an example. A table is darkness. A table cloth is light. As a table cloth is placed on a table, it covers the table (thus being darkness). If you remove the table cloth (color) all that remains is the table (darkness). The table cloth (color) can move. The table (darkness) doesn't.
Another theory is what ghettoshen suggested. Because of Newtons third law, which states that everything has an equal and opposite reaction, that would mean that light and dark are essentially equals, and thus have the same speed.
Of course, these are all just theories, and no one has come alone to prove them. Now, who says American high school students aren't smart? =P
Darkness is the absence of light. Theoretically it is not a physical thing like light, so the laws and measurements of physical things, like kph or mph, do not apply. Light is technically made up of photons. The less photons there are, the less color there is. If there are no photons, then there are no colors, and darkness just remains. Photons move, darkness doesn't. So technically, darkness isn't a matter that can be measured. Take what my teacher in my physics class used as an example. A table is darkness. A table cloth is light. As a table cloth is placed on a table, it covers the table (thus being darkness). If you remove the table cloth (color) all that remains is the table (darkness). The table cloth (color) can move. The table (darkness) doesn't.
Another theory is what ghettoshen suggested. Because of Newtons third law, which states that everything has an equal and opposite reaction, that would mean that light and dark are essentially equals, and thus have the same speed.
Of course, these are all just theories, and no one has come alone to prove them. Now, who says American high school students aren't smart? =P
Posted: 2009-01-03 11:36:53 Reply
i cant check the calcualtion b/c my fulx compacator is not running at the moment...
Posted: 2009-08-24 21:42:20 Reply
darkness is definitely faster. what was there before light? darkness. light relies on a source to shine, darkness is gangster enough to provide for itself. black power...lol.
Posted: 2009-06-26 05:46:50 Reply
If nothing sticks to teflon, how does teflon stick to the pans?
And my personal favorite...
If stuff on a ship is called cargo, why is stuff on a car called shipments?
And my personal favorite...
If stuff on a ship is called cargo, why is stuff on a car called shipments?
Posted: 2008-07-22 10:49:18 Reply
Hilarious!
one more is
"if a vegitarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?"
lol
one more is
"if a vegitarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?"
lol
Posted: 2009-01-03 11:41:03 Reply
Here's one "In the Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow got a brain, the Tin Man got a heart, the Lion got courage and Dorothy got to go home. What did Toto (Dorothy's dog) get?"
Posted: 2009-01-08 16:45:53 Reply
I don't think that I could answer any of these.
Posted: 2009-06-14 15:16:14 Reply
bacon, asnwer to one of your questions, teflon is held by gravity :) lol and i actually kind of thought of it the same way u did for speed of darkness
Posted: 2009-06-15 00:37:46 Reply
awesome questions, especially the freezer one
Posted: 2009-06-17 10:50:46 Reply
TESTICAL! i've said that joke many a time. +3
Posted: 2009-06-17 13:24:21 Reply
why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
there are huge lists of these on the internet.
but they are still funny after multiple readings
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
there are huge lists of these on the internet.
but they are still funny after multiple readings
Posted: 2009-07-31 21:32:19 Reply
i got the anser to this question (If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?) first of all zero wat and if its celcius thn that is just another scale of showing the tmperature the real measurment of tempreature is kelvin wich is basically -273 dgreese celcius as zero celcius is 273 kelvin the lowest temperatre is 0 kelvin (-273 clcius but i cba workin it out but if you can be botherd thats the scale u have to work of)
btw i have a degree in mechanical engineering i know wat im talkin about
btw i have a degree in mechanical engineering i know wat im talkin about
Posted: 2009-08-14 17:43:00 Reply
Actually cold and hot are feelings and can't be measured that way....which means there is no actual answer, its just one of those questions to get you to chuckle...
Posted: 2009-08-14 20:47:29 Reply
well yeah ur right it should be wat temperature will it be 2moro just stated that u couldent figure it unless u use another type of measurment of temperature witch wouldent work anyway as there will always be a zero figure u but as kelvin is the true measurment of temperature it is possiable to work it out but it will be 546 kelvin so there is no real way to answer that question as the wording is all wrong
Posted: 2009-08-20 17:12:37 Reply
Why is someone ON television but IN a movie?
Posted: 2009-08-14 20:32:12 Reply
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Its a cartoon dude
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Laziness
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
this is the US dude,..
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
cuz it wasnt only used for protection...it helped in many ways so that the Kamikazes could be more accurate with their target..
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
cause paints easier to check
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
the word is suppose to sound simular to the problem faced by the person with the lisp in a more general form to understand ..
What is the speed of darkness?
thats just the absence of light..so yeah..
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
they still get more sleep a day then older people..and they supposable have better sleeps in those 2 hours anyway
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
thats just a figure of speech...it applies to almost all temperatures just to say its going to be a lot colder...
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
every human lives compared to their physical and mental lifestyle...so it depends how that person feels about being married or single..
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
because AMERICA GOT LAZIER..that was for scientific and triumphant reasons...
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
to see the view from the angle and to feel how high up you are...its for the adventure..
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
lmao...no
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
we it the chicken .. not its shit
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
some humans arent decent man
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
freezers are more at head height and less packed so theres no need for the extra installment
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
some people do dude.. just like how only some people acually point to their wrists
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
so you can get ready for it..lmao
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
its a cartooon!!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
just tests...your just thinking wrong now..thats not hard to answer..
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
you dont understand the concept man... its made from w/e its made from..not babies..
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
again...wtf, now you just askin 'moronic' question...and the word moron may have been formed in a similarity to the word MORality..
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
acually the l-m-n-o-p part of the alphabet is completely off of twinkle little star..plus that is a very basic and popular tune..
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
illiterate doesnt mean they dont know what letters are... alphabet soup wasnt made to spell shit
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
thats because you just blowing in his face...he sticks his head out of the car to observe the scenery as well..
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no
Its a cartoon dude
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Laziness
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
this is the US dude,..
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
cuz it wasnt only used for protection...it helped in many ways so that the Kamikazes could be more accurate with their target..
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
cause paints easier to check
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
the word is suppose to sound simular to the problem faced by the person with the lisp in a more general form to understand ..
What is the speed of darkness?
thats just the absence of light..so yeah..
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
they still get more sleep a day then older people..and they supposable have better sleeps in those 2 hours anyway
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
thats just a figure of speech...it applies to almost all temperatures just to say its going to be a lot colder...
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
every human lives compared to their physical and mental lifestyle...so it depends how that person feels about being married or single..
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
because AMERICA GOT LAZIER..that was for scientific and triumphant reasons...
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
to see the view from the angle and to feel how high up you are...its for the adventure..
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
lmao...no
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
we it the chicken .. not its shit
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
some humans arent decent man
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
freezers are more at head height and less packed so theres no need for the extra installment
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
some people do dude.. just like how only some people acually point to their wrists
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
so you can get ready for it..lmao
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
its a cartooon!!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
just tests...your just thinking wrong now..thats not hard to answer..
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
you dont understand the concept man... its made from w/e its made from..not babies..
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
again...wtf, now you just askin 'moronic' question...and the word moron may have been formed in a similarity to the word MORality..
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
acually the l-m-n-o-p part of the alphabet is completely off of twinkle little star..plus that is a very basic and popular tune..
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
illiterate doesnt mean they dont know what letters are... alphabet soup wasnt made to spell shit
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
thats because you just blowing in his face...he sticks his head out of the car to observe the scenery as well..
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no
Posted: 2009-08-20 17:26:30 Reply
I agree with nickalfaro, and think that your a smart-ass
Posted: 2009-08-25 03:53:13 Reply
Holy shit your a buzz kill... they're rhetorical for a reason man.
Posted: 2009-08-24 23:53:17 Reply
ANSWERS FOR 1ST PART!!!!!!!!!!
1. Who cares?!? What doesn't he have a mastauche, huh?
2. Flat batteries....?
3. Because this is america and they enjoy being stupid :D
4. BEcause they feel like it
5. Because...wait...i don't do that!!(4 billion Stars my ass!)
6. An idiot
7. I'm not sure but it's faster then the speed of light.
8. because when babies actually get sleep, they're quiet and peaceful
9. 0- again
10. They usally do live longer
11.well, that's the world for you!
12. because we'd much rather just look at from somewhere high then walk all the way over there to see it
1. Who cares?!? What doesn't he have a mastauche, huh?
2. Flat batteries....?
3. Because this is america and they enjoy being stupid :D
4. BEcause they feel like it
5. Because...wait...i don't do that!!(4 billion Stars my ass!)
6. An idiot
7. I'm not sure but it's faster then the speed of light.
8. because when babies actually get sleep, they're quiet and peaceful
9. 0- again
10. They usally do live longer
11.well, that's the world for you!
12. because we'd much rather just look at from somewhere high then walk all the way over there to see it
Posted: 2009-09-27 12:48:06 Reply
Posted by: 
The speed of darkness is the same as the speed of light because light leaves as fast as it enters and when there's no light there's darkness.
Nice questions. (+3)