Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed.

Post some of your favorite Chuck Norris 1 liners.

Report this topic to moderators This post already reported

-3Remove

-2Remove

-1Remove

+25

+1Remove

+2Remove

+3Remove

Posted: 2010-03-10 08:11:00

Responses (38) // Sorted by points

Psst.

pandamonkeys - replied 2010-04-02 19:57:55

+4

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Reply

Report
- Tacoman - replied 2010-04-03 14:17:26
  
  +1
  
  when Chuck Norris dies people will say that the impossible has just been made possible
  but Chuck Norris will not die because he is Chuck Norris
  
  Reply
  
  Report
  - DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:21:46
    
    +1
    
    Chuck Norris wont die he'll just go home.
    
    Reply
    
    Report
- HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:11:07
  
  +1
  
  Jesus wears a Chuck Norris pendant :)
  
  Reply
  
  Report

noodle - replied 2010-04-03 14:38:19

+2

Chuck norris has only cried once. He roundhoused so hard that he cause a rip in time and space and kicked himself in the nuts

Reply

Report
- DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:33:28
  
  +1
  
  When Chuck Norris gets sad he round house kicks himself and he feels better because he knows he's the only one that can take it.
  
  Reply
  
  Report

ember - replied 2010-03-10 11:02:54

+1

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Reply

Report
- Ertrov - replied 2010-04-02 19:46:32
  
  0
  
  and it will cause everyone else pain
  
  Reply
  
  Report
- justjim - replied 2010-04-02 21:40:51
  
  -1
  
  not overly bright
  
  Reply
  
  Report

Dannyl - replied 2010-03-11 07:54:42

+1

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Incidentally, Chuck Norris also shares his birthday with Osama Bin Laden

Reply

Report
- Ertrov - replied 2010-04-02 19:48:06
  
  +1
  
  that's because to balance out the awesomeness of Chuck, something truly vile had to be spawned the same day he was born.
  
  Reply
  
  Report
  - DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:25:04
    
    +2
    
    Kanye West fits that description. At least the truly vile part
    
    Reply
    
    Report

Mehh - replied 2010-03-11 08:15:36

+1

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only 3 moves.

Reply

Report
- Krimreaper - replied 2010-03-11 08:17:21
  
  +1
  
  I love that one
  
  Reply
  
  Report
- HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:12:42
  
  +1
  
  Chuck Norris can watch "60 minutes" in 20.
  Lol XD
  
  Reply
  
  Report
- YourAdopted - replied 2010-03-11 10:14:08
  
  0
  
  Chuck norris dosnt read he demands the book to give him info and it does
  
  chuck norris once saved a mans life by giving mouth to mouth then round house kicked him dead why? because Chuck Norris DOSNT SHOW MERCY!
  
  Reply
  
  Report
  - DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:29:23
    
    +1
    
    On the set of walker texas ranger chuck norris hurt and killed a baby lamb. Chuck proceeded to stroke the lamb with his beard, 20 minutes later the baby lamb stood up and began to run. Chuck Norris round house kicked the lamb. Why you may ask? The good Chuck Giveth And the good Chuck Taketh away. (Edit I know it's not a one liner)
    
    Reply
    
    Report

Polygon - replied 2010-04-02 09:35:02

+1

When chuck norris does push-ups hes merely pushing the world away from him.

Reply

Report

tyduran13 - replied 2010-04-02 20:03:34

+1

The quickest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris fist :)

Reply

Report
- HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:13:51
  
  +1
  
  Someone told me it was a knife o.o;..
  
  Reply
  
  Report
  - tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:06:19
    
    +1
    
    Chuck Norris begs to differ..
    
    600x750
    
    Reply
    
    Report
    - HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 02:17:26
      
      +1
      
      *Kills Myself*
      HA! XD
      
      Reply
      
      Report
      - tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:31:53
        
        +1
        
        Lol naw your cool though (:
        
        750x600
        
        Reply
        
        Report
        
        HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 02:37:17
        
        +1
        
        Whew...good XD
        Cause I dont wanna die :P
        
        Reply
        
        Report
        
        tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:39:37
        
        +1
        
        Naw Chuck Norris is 70 years old now, he will decided's not to waste his time on a sharenator.... LMAO
        
        Reply
        
        Report

drakenguard - replied 2010-04-03 14:35:06

+1

chuck norris is scared of only one person and thats bruce lee

Reply

Report

destroyer124 - replied 2010-04-03 16:26:03

+1

If you spell chuck Noris wrong in google it doesn't give you the correction it says just run while you still can lmao

Reply

Report
- HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:14:27
  
  +1
  
  lol XD
  
  Reply
  
  Report

Noble6WillkickYourAss - replied 2010-10-16 23:41:20

+1

America isn't america,Its Chucknorrica.

Reply

Report

kaBjj101 - replied 2011-03-09 06:52:43

+1

-Chuck Norris put the Pain in the word Pain.

-Chuck Norris's sperm count is so high, women have to chew before they swallow.

Reply

Report

SuDoku - replied 2011-03-09 07:05:51

+1

Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945.
The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945.
Coincidence? I think not.

Reply

Report

awesomeeeee - replied 2011-03-09 07:09:30

+1

chuck norris' bday is the 10th march, not 9th

Reply

Report

Hashnooroxybox - replied 2010-04-03 14:30:10

0

ChuckNorrisControlsTheEarh'sGravityAndThat'sWhyHeCan'tDie:)
OhOhOhOh-IfChuckNorrisHadAFightWithGod,WhoWouldWin?
Chuck?No!
God?NO!
TrickQuestion-ChuckNorrisISGod!

Reply

Report
- kaBjj101 - replied 2011-03-09 06:47:12
  
  +1
  
  lol the last one.+1
  
  Reply
  
  Report

Krimreaper - replied 2010-03-11 07:43:59

-1

One day Chuck Norris's wife asked him what he wanted for dinner. He round housed her and told her "No on questions Chuck Norris"

Reply

Report

CallMeGoogle - replied 2010-03-10 19:17:24

-5

Chuck Norris would be nothing without Danny Glover!

Reply

Report
- justjim - replied 2010-04-02 21:41:16
  
  -3
  
  got that one right
  
  Reply
  
  Report

Guy57 - replied 2010-04-02 09:18:54

-7

Chuck Norris has one secret, he is a mexican named Carlos Ray Norris.

Reply

Report

Upload files

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris