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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed.

Post some of your favorite Chuck Norris 1 liners.
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Views: 7102
Posted: 2010-03-10 08:11:00

Responses (38) // Sorted by points

Psst.
  • pandamonkeys - replied 2010-04-02 19:57:55
    +4
    Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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    • Tacoman - replied 2010-04-03 14:17:26
      +1
      when Chuck Norris dies people will say that the impossible has just been made possible
      but Chuck Norris will not die because he is Chuck Norris
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      • DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:21:46
        +1
        Chuck Norris wont die he'll just go home.
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    • HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:11:07
      +1
      Jesus wears a Chuck Norris pendant :)
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  • noodle - replied 2010-04-03 14:38:19
    +2
    Chuck norris has only cried once. He roundhoused so hard that he cause a rip in time and space and kicked himself in the nuts
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    • DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:33:28
      +1
      When Chuck Norris gets sad he round house kicks himself and he feels better because he knows he's the only one that can take it.
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  • ember - replied 2010-03-10 11:02:54
    +1
    Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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    • Ertrov - replied 2010-04-02 19:46:32
      0
      and it will cause everyone else pain
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    • justjim - replied 2010-04-02 21:40:51
      -1
      not overly bright
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  • Dannyl - replied 2010-03-11 07:54:42
    +1
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Incidentally, Chuck Norris also shares his birthday with Osama Bin Laden
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    • Ertrov - replied 2010-04-02 19:48:06
      +1
      that's because to balance out the awesomeness of Chuck, something truly vile had to be spawned the same day he was born.
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      • DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:25:04
        +2
        Kanye West fits that description. At least the truly vile part
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  • Mehh - replied 2010-03-11 08:15:36
    +1
    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only 3 moves.
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    • Krimreaper - replied 2010-03-11 08:17:21
      +1
      I love that one
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    • HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:12:42
      +1
      Chuck Norris can watch "60 minutes" in 20.
      Lol XD
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    • YourAdopted - replied 2010-03-11 10:14:08
      0
      Chuck norris dosnt read he demands the book to give him info and it does

      chuck norris once saved a mans life by giving mouth to mouth then round house kicked him dead why? because Chuck Norris DOSNT SHOW MERCY!
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      • DontTouchMyPuddin - replied 2010-07-07 01:29:23
        +1
        On the set of walker texas ranger chuck norris hurt and killed a baby lamb. Chuck proceeded to stroke the lamb with his beard, 20 minutes later the baby lamb stood up and began to run. Chuck Norris round house kicked the lamb. Why you may ask? The good Chuck Giveth And the good Chuck Taketh away. (Edit I know it's not a one liner)
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  • Polygon - replied 2010-04-02 09:35:02
    +1
    When chuck norris does push-ups hes merely pushing the world away from him.
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  • tyduran13 - replied 2010-04-02 20:03:34
    +1
    The quickest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris fist :)
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    • HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 01:13:51
      +1
      Someone told me it was a knife o.o;..
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      • tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:06:19
        +1
        Chuck Norris begs to differ..

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        • HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 02:17:26
          +1
          *Kills Myself*
          HA! XD
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          • tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:31:53
            +1
            Lol naw your cool though (:
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            • HeartlessAngel - replied 2010-07-07 02:37:17
              +1
              Whew...good XD
              Cause I dont wanna die :P
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            • tyduran13 - replied 2010-07-07 02:39:37
              +1
              Naw Chuck Norris is 70 years old now, he will decided's not to waste his time on a sharenator.... LMAO
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  • drakenguard - replied 2010-04-03 14:35:06
    +1
    chuck norris is scared of only one person and thats bruce lee
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  • destroyer124 - replied 2010-04-03 16:26:03
    +1
    If you spell chuck Noris wrong in google it doesn't give you the correction it says just run while you still can lmao
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  • kaBjj101 - replied 2011-03-09 06:52:43
    +1
    -Chuck Norris put the Pain in the word Pain.

    -Chuck Norris's sperm count is so high, women have to chew before they swallow.
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  • SuDoku - replied 2011-03-09 07:05:51
    +1
    Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945.
    The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945.
    Coincidence? I think not.
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  • awesomeeeee - replied 2011-03-09 07:09:30
    +1
    chuck norris' bday is the 10th march, not 9th
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  • Hashnooroxybox - replied 2010-04-03 14:30:10
    0
    ChuckNorrisControlsTheEarh'sGravityAndThat'sWhyHeCan'tDie:)
    OhOhOhOh-IfChuckNorrisHadAFightWithGod,WhoWouldWin?
    Chuck?No!
    God?NO!
    TrickQuestion-ChuckNorrisISGod!
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    • kaBjj101 - replied 2011-03-09 06:47:12
      +1
      lol the last one.+1
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  • Krimreaper - replied 2010-03-11 07:43:59
    -1
    One day Chuck Norris's wife asked him what he wanted for dinner. He round housed her and told her "No on questions Chuck Norris"
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