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Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
4. Helpless is not cute.
5. Get to the point.
6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
16. We need to vegetate.
17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
30. You have enough clothes.
31. You have too many shoes.
32. Crying is blackmail.
33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
41. Check your oil.
42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
44. It doesn't matter which quiz.
45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
54. Ditto melon.
55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.
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Views: 14826
Posted: 2009-12-11 21:38:29

Responses (26) // Sorted by points

  • DJ9090 - replied 2009-12-12 05:41:14
    +6
    AMEN TO THIS! +3!! mass email this to EVERY girl NOW!!
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  • defmid26 - replied 2009-12-12 04:27:48
    +3
    #50 is now my new mantra +3
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  • Kradon666 - replied 2009-12-12 04:29:17
    +3
    :O those are so true! #17 especially!
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  • destroyer124 - replied 2009-12-12 05:33:13
    +3
    this list sums it up lol except #6 i can multitask tho
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  • TanzInDenTod - replied 2009-12-12 14:30:46
    +2
    it pisses me off so much when girls break #51
    and #34 is so true...just say it
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  • aqoverlay - replied 2010-01-12 13:52:28
    +2
    awesome
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  • Conkerguru - replied 2009-12-12 15:14:37
    +1
    I thought this was gonna be that gay one but this was pretty good tanks!
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  • xiclown - replied 2009-12-23 05:41:51
    +1
    i like #46 lol
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  • chachaonit121 - replied 2010-01-12 14:39:24
    +1
    i like 51 becaus it says boobs and makes me think of the boobs post
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  • Viermo - replied 2010-01-12 16:45:02
    +1
    i just read for lulz but over all i cant pick which one i liked best :P
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  • thekitkatkid - replied 2010-05-04 15:44:11
    +1
    2,4,13,32,39,46,51,55 are things I wish they knew
    awesome post +3
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  • Chris54 - replied 2010-05-04 17:12:59
    +1
    THEY REALLY NEED TO LEARN FREAKIN #22
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  • triclebickle - replied 2010-05-04 21:18:49
    +1
    i printed this out and is now in the kitchen the bedroom and on the door of my man cave under the no girls allowed sign
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  • CrazyJay - replied 2010-05-05 02:02:53
    +1
    27 is an exception for me. I hate sports. But rule 7 is easily my favourite.
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    • Demono - replied 2011-11-13 12:14:27
      +1
      Trade that in for skyrim or games

      On 49 they need to add loading screens
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  • Katt - replied 2010-05-05 07:15:46
    +1
    This was a true eye opener. The more I think about it, the more accurate it seems (of course there are exceptions between different male individuals). +3
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  • Kopczynski - replied 2010-05-10 06:00:56
    +1
    find me the girls who fits all of this and that man gets a klondyke bar
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  • ZinkisaPrick - replied 2010-06-13 04:56:38
    +1
    55 Definitely True.
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  • johnecash - replied 2010-06-13 08:49:45
    +1
    funny how the girls list for guys is much shorter! ha, who would had guessed?
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  • castlewarsisawsome - replied 2010-08-10 02:46:54
    +1
    36 would have been helpful a year ago she got pist at me for no talking two her for like an hour
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  • Goober - replied 2011-02-09 09:13:14
    +1
    Number 7 is the most annoying if broken.
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  • CastorOnline - replied 2011-05-17 21:47:51
    +1
    I do quiz... but all the other points are like saying how my relation with my gf is haha, nice post!
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  • ClassicDarlingXO - replied 2011-05-18 04:08:02
    +1
    This post has made me realize that I have an awesome boyfriend. (...And I'm an awesome girlfriend.) :D +3
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  • GothicRoze - replied 2011-11-13 14:20:33
    +1
    Totally awesome and true
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  • HumpandAlly - replied 2013-04-28 17:04:27
    +1
    Those rules sound like the girls that shaped them were scary emotional wrecks .-.
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  • ScenaKay - replied 2013-10-07 16:55:16
    +1
    Since imma girl i read this post just to learn the rules so that my boyfriend will love me more for not breaking them:3 love u baby
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