Funny Text Messages - Dear...

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic


Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic


Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985


Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle


Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go


Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God


Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder


Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World


Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people


Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin


Dear Mary,
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
Sincerely,
Joseph


And my personal favorite:
Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…

Sincerely,
Google


--

I've got a few more of these if you guys like them. Let me know and I'll post the others.

You might be interested

Comments

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  • 4

    58 michael moar

    Lulz! I'll have to find them again. I kinda lost them after a month.
    - CallMeGoogle June 18, 2011, 4:34 pm
    Reply
  • 2

    Post more!

    Not only for you. More people have to want them. Not wasting my time for one person, no matter how super awesome they are.
    - CallMeGoogle April 28, 2011, 4:17 pm
    Well at least I'm super awesome. I'll take it!
    - ClassicDarlingXO April 28, 2011, 4:20 pm
    Looks like no one else likes it. If you really want me to, I will post the rest for you though.
    - CallMeGoogle April 29, 2011, 3:29 pm
    If you want more, go Yahoo! them. :)
    - Disco April 29, 2011, 3:34 pm
    D'awwwww. :D
    - DarkHunter June 18, 2011, 3:26 pm
    Reply
  • 2

    I like the Windshield Wipers one and the Canada to America one.

    well Canada hit us with a giant bomb there but we couldnt let it be. We had to go and fuck the whole world and produce Rebecca Black so stop trying to have the most annoying singer countries!! Theres no reason to have competition for worst singer my ears cant take it
    - buddyfoeva April 29, 2011, 4:17 pm
    shit...your right...what's next?
    - mariofox03 April 29, 2011, 5:15 pm
    Lets hope no one! if i hear of a new upcoming star im not listening period
    - buddyfoeva April 29, 2011, 5:19 pm
    so you wont llisten to me? Cause im goin out for American Idol!
    - mariofox03 April 29, 2011, 5:20 pm
    ehh ill think about it but i dont watch American idol. it got real boring
    - buddyfoeva April 29, 2011, 5:28 pm
    really? Cause some contestant kissed the woman judge.
    - mariofox03 April 29, 2011, 5:28 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    the JACK and ROSE titanic... i LOVE that movie she shoulda moved her fat a$$ and let him on!

    Reply
  • 1

    moarcat - funny text messages - dear...

    1234713403425 - funny text messages - dear...

    tumblr kqsa7yzlyG1qzma4ho1 500

    moar 23 - funny text messages - dear...

    • Ertrov
    • December 2, 2011, 8:04 pm
    Reply
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