Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
PS, you let go

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear Mary,
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
Sincerely,
Joseph

And my personal favorite:
Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…

Sincerely,
Google

--

I've got a few more of these if you guys like them. Let me know and I'll post the others.

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Posted: 2011-04-28 16:12:28

Responses (17) // Sorted by points

Psst.

24paperwings - replied 2011-06-18 16:33:14

+4

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- CallMeGoogle - replied 2011-06-18 16:34:10
  
  +1
  
  Lulz! I'll have to find them again. I kinda lost them after a month.
  
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ClassicDarlingXO - replied 2011-04-28 16:16:05

+2

Post more!

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- Disco - replied 2011-04-29 15:34:23
  
  +3
  
  If you want more, go Yahoo! them. :)
  
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- CallMeGoogle - replied 2011-04-28 16:17:38
  
  +1
  
  Not only for you. More people have to want them. Not wasting my time for one person, no matter how super awesome they are.
  
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  - ClassicDarlingXO - replied 2011-04-28 16:20:35
    
    +2
    
    Well at least I'm super awesome. I'll take it!
    
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    - CallMeGoogle - replied 2011-04-29 15:29:09
      
      +1
      
      Looks like no one else likes it. If you really want me to, I will post the rest for you though.
      
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      - DarkHunter - replied 2011-06-18 15:26:15
        
        +1
        
        D'awwwww. :D
        
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mariofox03 - replied 2011-04-29 16:10:42

+2

I like the Windshield Wipers one and the Canada to America one.

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- buddyfoeva - replied 2011-04-29 16:17:59
  
  +1
  
  well Canada hit us with a giant bomb there but we couldnt let it be. We had to go and fuck the whole world and produce Rebecca Black so stop trying to have the most annoying singer countries!! Theres no reason to have competition for worst singer my ears cant take it
  
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  - mariofox03 - replied 2011-04-29 17:15:59
    
    +1
    
    shit...your right...what's next?
    
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    - buddyfoeva - replied 2011-04-29 17:19:35
      
      +1
      
      Lets hope no one! if i hear of a new upcoming star im not listening period
      
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      - mariofox03 - replied 2011-04-29 17:20:29
        
        +1
        
        so you wont llisten to me? Cause im goin out for American Idol!
        
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        buddyfoeva - replied 2011-04-29 17:28:02
        
        +1
        
        ehh ill think about it but i dont watch American idol. it got real boring
        
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        mariofox03 - replied 2011-04-29 17:28:49
        
        +1
        
        really? Cause some contestant kissed the woman judge.
        
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twiggles - replied 2011-12-02 19:43:54

+1

the JACK and ROSE titanic... i LOVE that movie she shoulda moved her fat a$$ and let him on!

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