Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
That Little Triangle
There was definitely room on that door for the both of us.
PS, you let go
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.
And my personal favorite:
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
I've got a few more of these if you guys like them. Let me know and I'll post the others.