Funeral Instructions

Funeral instructions for The Oatmeal:

Last weekend my family had a BBQ. I told them that when I died I wanted my body to be hurled via trebuchet into an erupting volcano, and I even wrote down specific instructions for my funeral service.

funeral - funeral instructions

They told me this was not logistically possible and a hugely inconsiderate thing to do to a grief stricken family.
I called them a bunch of a-holes and soccer-kicked the watermelon off the picnic table and into the bushes.




This would be an epic funeral. I especially love the little snack bar and brilliant usage of a trebuchet.

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Comments

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  • 4

    This is awesome! Especially since I have been telling my aunt for years that when I die, I want my body catapulted in some random direction to land wherever I am meant to have my final resting ground.

    Reply
  • 2

    Wow that would be an awesome way to be remembered. ^_^

    Reply
  • 1

    If the physics are there it could potentially work......

    Reply
  • 1

    "DO NOT fucking throw this away."

    Reply
  • 1

    i will make shore it happens if i can have all you video games and game systems and the TV. XD

    • gw2250
    • September 8, 2010, 8:50 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Hang on... It's hugely inconsiderate. You could just turn around and say 'IT'S MY FUCKING FUNERAL!'

    • SuDoku
    • September 9, 2010, 3:03 am
    Reply
  • 1

    i like the words all over the landscape

    Reply
  • 1

    I would be honored to help make your final wishes a reality if your family is too inconsiderate of your feelings to do so for you!
    roman - funeral instructions

    • adduco
    • September 2, 2011, 9:13 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Just saying, I want a Funeral Pyre. Then, I want there to be a massive LAN party organized in my honor with hot chicks and all of my closest family and friends.

    My funeral will be the most amazing party ever, as I want to be remembered as a happy guy. It shall rage on for however many hours as I was years old. If i die at 98, 4 day party baby!

    Reply
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