Football funnies (football not handegg) :P

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Comments

Reply Attach
  • 1

    WHO would downrate this?! I loved THEM.

    Maybe somebody that was expecting Football (Handegg) not Soccer (Football)
    - DontTouchMyPuddin May 16, 2012, 9:26 am
    ^
    - prophethorris May 16, 2012, 9:54 am
    thanks man :D
    there are loads more, but i might not do another post of them if only 2 or 3 people want it? :/
    - Fail4424 May 16, 2012, 9:55 am
    Yeah I thought it was mis-labeled;) 'Soccer funnies' would be more accurate;) (jk) And as you can tell I really didn't get most of them, Michael Phelps one was funny, but that's no excuse for downrating it...making fun of sports stars is a past time that transcends all cultures:)
    - ensignredshirt May 17, 2012, 3:00 am
    have a look at the title now....
    - Fail4424 May 17, 2012, 7:45 am
    Haha, Nice! Thanks for being more understanding, we americans like to make things up and then wonder why everyone else isn't like us...It's just our thing I guess...
    - ensignredshirt May 19, 2012, 1:52 am
    lol yw
    honest opinion, would you want me to do another one of these posts, or not?
    - Fail4424 May 19, 2012, 10:54 am
    I guess I'm not really in a position to give a good answer. I'd certainly take a look at any more posts you'd make, but I didn't get many of these. Hell, I don't even pay much attention to pro football (handegg) here anyway.
    But post away! Maybe I'll even learn something!
    - ensignredshirt May 22, 2012, 12:59 am
    lol ok, i was thinking about doing it anyway because it got a +36, so that means roughly 12 people probably liked it, look out for it tomorow or later today :D
    - Fail4424 May 22, 2012, 6:48 am
    I don't know if you have done another one or not. If yes, please post the link. If not, then please do :)
    - priyawantstofly August 23, 2012, 4:11 am
    Okay I found it
    - priyawantstofly August 23, 2012, 4:33 am
    Reply
  • 1

    handegg xD thats what im going to call it from now on

    good man :D
    we need to spread the word!!
    - Fail4424 May 21, 2012, 2:25 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Loved these!!
    but after i saw #2 it reminded me Drogba's probably leaving Chelsea which is a downer
    well, we've still got Torres :P
    ;)

    • qwop
    • May 22, 2012, 8:51 am
    yer, i hate that he's leaving
    it wont be the same without him
    and Torres is doubting his future at Chelsea as well because he's not happy there
    it's not looking good....
    - Fail4424 May 22, 2012, 1:54 pm
    but we've got HAZARD!!!!
    ;)
    - qwop May 30, 2012, 4:54 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Last time I checked, a football is not an egg. Anyone can kick a ball around.

    do you mean this:

    i call American football handegg now, it's kinda funny :P
    And what do you mean about anyone can kick a ball around?
    - Fail4424 May 22, 2012, 4:03 pm
    There is not much skill involved besides being a goalie.
    - Jjbigscreeners May 22, 2012, 8:21 pm
    i'd like to see you try some of these:


    - Fail4424 May 23, 2012, 6:10 am
    - Jjbigscreeners May 23, 2012, 7:25 pm
    Oh are all touchdowns scored like this?

    It's harder to do something with your feet than with your hands.
    - MalverdeAl100 May 23, 2012, 7:33 pm
    ok, that was nice, but if we're going for top class stuff, here's 3 i quickly found, all scored in the same season so they're not clips collected from years ago :D




    And just a little review of this season's highlights:

    Clearly the best league for football, and the best sport!
    - Fail4424 May 24, 2012, 5:55 am
    2 of those clips were taken down by youtube :/
    they're nice goals though, i think Crouch's should have been goal of the season, but i think Cisse got it
    ;)
    - qwop May 30, 2012, 4:54 am
    no i think its much easier to run with my feet and not my hands. so i think we have disqualified your theory cart blank about its harder to do something with your feet than your hands.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 12:17 pm
    I must always ask, please quantify your definition of best so that i may know what you mean by best sport. best sport for what? diving? no i think diving is the best sport for diving? best sport for horse racing? No soccer does not have any horses in it, so i don't think its the best sport for horse racing. best sport where you kick a ball then? that is what you must be talking about. well that is debatable since you kick a ball in football. to compare the two is like comparing checkers (soccer ) to Chess (football), apples to oranges, or F1 to WRC. There are different and can not be quantitatively broken down in order to appraise which one is "better". Though you can be a fan boy and just yell at the top of your lungs how great you think checkers is over chess.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 12:26 pm
    "Oh are all touchdowns scored like this?"

    That right there shows i was kinda on the topic of scoring.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 2:11 pm
    your comment; It's harder to do something with your feet than with your hands.
    my reply; no i think its much easier to run with my feet and not my hands. so i think we have disqualified your theory cart blank about its harder to do something with your feet than your hands.
    Once again your theory has been shown to not be universally true. there fore i ask that you explain your broad statement.

    to answer your other question; no, not all touchdowns are scored that way, some come in from running the ball, not just passing the ball.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 2:17 pm
    You ever curve a ball from 30 yards out? You ever kick a ball to where it clears the wall but then manages to drop down just in time to go in the net? You ever do any type of skill moves with a ball at your feet? Didn't think so. I never said it was universally true. Like i said i was on the topic of scoring. You know what i meant when i said "Oh are all touchdowns scored like this?". And by that i meant the whole frontflip shit. All other touchdowns are "oh i caught a ball in the endzone/oh i caught a ball and THEN ran to the endzone/oh i ran a ball into the endzone!". That's some real boring shit.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 2:28 pm
    Nothing in life is easy when nose tackle Jesse Williams for the University of Alabama is head hunting you. At 6 foot 4, 320lbs, bench press 600 lbs (the coaches won't let him go higher even though he thinks he can ), squats 700 lbs (once again this weight is limited by the coaching staff and runs the 40 yard dash in 4.87. That kid running at full speed could literally, not figuratively, kill you with home hit.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 2:41 pm
    Oh but then all i'd have to do is feint that i'm gonna run in one direction but at the last moment run to the other direction meanwhile Jesse Williams for the University of Alabama is head hunting me. At 6 foot 4, 320lbs, bench press 600 lbs (the coaches won't let him go higher even though he thinks he can ), squats 700 lbs (once again this weight is limited by the coaching staff and who runs the 40 yard dash in 4.87 dives to tackle me and completely misses. What's this called again? Oh yeah, a juke. One of the many skill moves involved in football.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 2:45 pm
    You asked; have you ever curve a ball from 30 yards out? You ever kick a ball to where it clears the wall but then manages to drop down just in time to go in the net? You ever do any type of skill moves with a ball at your feet?
    Yeah foot ball has that, its called a field goal. One theory disproved now to the next.

    Next theory of yours; All other touchdowns are "oh i caught a ball in the endzone/oh i caught a ball and THEN ran to the endzone/oh i ran a ball into the endzone!".
    Nothing in life is easy when nose tackle Jesse Williams for the University of Alabama is head hunting you. At 6 foot 4, 320lbs, bench press 600 lbs (the coaches won't let him go higher even though he thinks he can ), squats 700 lbs (once again this weight is limited by the coaching staff and runs the 40 yard dash in 4.87. That kid running at full speed could literally, not figuratively, kill you with one hit.
    So I have disproved that theory.
    Now to your last point;
    That's some real boring shit.
    Once again you seem to be confusion opinion with fact. I will conceded that you think it is boring as shit. I do believe you think that and for that reason your opinion is correct for you.
    As I have said, Soccer is like checkers, Football is like chess. Two different games for different people. To say one is better than the other is something you can not prove, is not a fact and is only an opinion.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:00 pm
    the kid is faster thank you, stronger than you, better as an athletic than you in every way, and you think you can juke him. i would love to see you try it, with out pads since you know you could do it. it would probably be the last day you ever walk on your own legs after he hits you. That video would go viral on the net in about 30 min.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:03 pm
    Yeah? No. A field goal is nothing like that lol.

    I don't see how you putting this Jesse Williams kids stats disproves my 'theory'. If you love him so much, go marry him.

    Yeah it's pretty boring. The fact that there's commercials every 2 minutes makes it even more boring. "To say one is better than the other is something you can not prove, is not a fact and is only an opinion." Yeah you're kinda the one who started with this, i'm just replying. "OMG FOOTBALL IS THE BEST SPORT, BECAUSE VIOLENCE!"
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:11 pm
    Okay he might be faster you never know. It's not like i run the 40 yard dash all the time for fun to know my time. I don't see why you're thanking me though if you think he's faster than me. Stronger? Yeah i'll give you that. It's not like i've been on a steroid conditioning program since my days of football in middle school. "better as an athletic than you in every way"? I'm guessing you meant athlete? But yeah, no. Last time i checked soccer players were athletes too. And i'm pretty sure a 320 lb man isn't better than me at soccer, matter of fact my 12 year old brother is better at it than him. Sure go ahead and set it up. I'm guessing you can schedule that can't you? Since you're so obsessed with him i'm gonna go ahead and assume you have his contact info and junk. Maybe even a shrine of him in your closet with an effigy made of hairs you've collected from him?
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:17 pm
    Really showing your age with comments like "if you love him so much why don't you marry him."
    The point of telling you about this college kid, not NFL mind you, was to prove, successfully might I add, that your theory that touchdowns are easy.You are correct a field goal can be much more difficult than a soccer goal, so yes they are different. But to your point about curving the ball at 30 yards they are similar. but its much easier to kick a ball when some one is not trying to kill you, so advantage Football not soccer.

    You said that; Yeah you're kinda the one who started with this, i'm just replying. "OMG FOOTBALL IS THE BEST SPORT, BECAUSE VIOLENCE!"
    -I never once said football is the best. That's all you and a freudian slip if you ask me. My initial comment was to show the flaw in your theory about everything being harder with your feet, which i have successfully done.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:21 pm
    Whatever helps you sleep at night.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:24 pm
    Your gibberish is amazing. Its like you want to speak English but are not sure how to form a thought. the only thing i got out of your comment is that soccer players are better at soccer than football players are at soccer. This is a true an valid statement. Its ok not to take the internet personal my friend. As Detective Friday used to say on Dragnet, "Only the facts, ma'am."
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:27 pm
    Potassium.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:27 pm
    I sleep fine thank you. And it mountain biking that helps me sleep at night. Though if you want to know the truth I have never had any issues with sleeping. Always found that a good routine, with good diet and exercise program keeps me sleeping like a baby. Thank you my friend for being concerned about my sleeping habits. And people say your generation is full of cynical d'bags. I guess they never met the diamond in the ruff that is you..
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:29 pm
    K for short.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:31 pm
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:31 pm
    Oh would you look at that. You're not a complete dumbass.


    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:34 pm
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:35 pm
    Now if we only knew the same about you, so far it does not look good. Though that's just one mans theory.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:38 pm
    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:39 pm
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:43 pm




    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 3:47 pm
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 3:59 pm
    I probably would if i could understand the hieroglyphics language. God that's old. You gotta be hip, keep up with the times.

    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:06 pm
    I am sorry you have a problem understanding English, it must not be your first language. Wow! a male Justin Timberlake fan. How long have you been gay? I support your people being able to marry FYI.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:09 pm
    Probably after i had sex with your mom and she was so bad at it. And no, English isn't my first language. It's actually Spanish. I'm a very fluent speaker of the English language though, but like i said i don't understand hieroglyphics. Well at least not yet. I'm working on my degree for egyptology, but i haven't had time for it what with my streetfighting and all that. Some people call me a God for it, but i'm just above average. Also i have to begin training for the next Olympics at Rio. I'm a 6'4 powerlifter. Can't believe i forgot to mention that. So with all that going on i haven't had much time for my degree.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:11 pm
    Yeah mom did mention how you like to cry a lot during sex, and how you thought your penis is so small (she agreed and used to laugh about it with all her friends. i bet the tiny prick you have is due to your steroid abuse. but hey a lot of Olympic power lifters are gay,). So you are gay. Ok that clears it up. Congrats on your gayness my friend.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:14 pm
    Wow. I like how you keep editing your comments. It's like "Oh, shit, i forgot to include this gold comedy nugget of a sentence in there let me edit it so the world can see!" Also yeah. I'm very gay for your mom's pussy.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:17 pm
    No she said you used to pay her to use the strap on for you. that you would cry a lot when she tried to have sex with you. all you wanted was to be called sally, dressed like a little girl, and have her friends laugh at your micro penis. Is mom not great for doing for you what no other woman will do, unless you pay.
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:20 pm
    She never tickled my anus and called me Samantha. So yeah, not good enough for me.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:21 pm
    No she never used a feather, she said you wanted the donkey replica, or just shove a raw gerbil up there. I know all about what yall used to do. She told me everything. Whats it like to know a field mouse has a larger penis than you?
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:24 pm
    I think you're mad? You punch like a girl, i put holes in the wall with my head and listen to goth music and i'm only 14.


    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:27 pm
    Well good for you. 14 and already know your gay!
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:29 pm
    Thanks. I feel sorry for you though. What are you like 60 and you still don't know the difference between your and you're?
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:34 pm
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:38 pm
    Only in my spare time. I'm also part of the Spelling Spetnaz, members get a cool jacket. Also, nah, i don't really feel like it.
    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:50 pm
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 4:53 pm
    Oh, we're using memes wrong now?


    - MalverdeAl100 August 23, 2012, 4:55 pm
    Why so serious my gay friend?
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 5:13 pm
    ok, for me the best sport is the sport that is the most exciting to watch/play, and tbh i'm not sure why you're having a go at me for liking football *edit: and now MalverdeAl100 as well (didn't read the whole thing but saw bits). I have no disrespect for American football or anything you like, so i don't see why you're having a go so much. I like football. end of.
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 5:47 pm
    cba to read most of that, but some of what you said made me laugh, so i +1'd a lot of them :P
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 5:51 pm
    Thanks, non-serious arguments can be entertaining.
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 9:28 am
    Your last post is true. For you the best sport is. That is a very different statement than the best sport is. When I see statements like that I love to play devils advocate if only because it is so easy. In closing, I agree you think the best sport is soccer, and there is nothing wrong with that.
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 9:30 am
    Reply
  • 1

    We enjoy playing the game, but watching it is about as entertaining to us as watching Golf.

    • Dawn
    • August 24, 2012, 9:44 am
    fair play, not everyone likes it, just as i'm not too interested in American football, but playing it is alright
    well, we don't really use rules and do a sorta mixture between American football and rugby, with less rules :P
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 5:57 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    It's called soccer. -.-

    • Phul
    • August 24, 2012, 9:15 pm
    not from here it's not
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 9:19 pm
    Reply
  • 0

    you mean soccer? where someone gets a elbow to the chest and acts like they get shot?

    lol, not all players are divers though
    but no i do not mean soccer, i mean football, ugh do we have to go through this again, it's quite simple really :P

    - Fail4424 May 17, 2012, 8:35 pm
    Fucking hilarious in its simplicity, Love it!
    - ensignredshirt May 19, 2012, 1:57 am
    haha, thanks :D
    - Fail4424 May 19, 2012, 10:53 am
    Soccer is a British term used to describe the game. Football is an american version used to describe their game. I am sorry you take such issue with the names, but it has been names and its over. no one calls it hand egg. i get your point but to continue with your logic you would not call a koala bear a kola bear but a tree hugging bear. if you were the first to name it, that would be the name. but your not, sorry can help you there but i can help you use property vocabulary. remember a rose by any other name would smell as sweet
    - johnecash August 23, 2012, 12:13 pm
    i don't actually call it handegg nor do i expect any American's do either :P
    when ever i talk about it i call it football or American football, but i'm never changing what i call it :P
    btw 'i can help you use proper vocabulary' if this is you trying to get me to call it soccer then wow man, just wow.
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 5:39 pm
    Proper vocabulary for football, not soccer. call it what ever you like. Going against the grain might be part of the way you like to youthfully rebel against the status quo. and thats ok, but its not proper vocabulary. call it what ever you want but it does not help your cause. just like if i for no reason started saying tree hugging bear. more people would know what i am talking about if proper vocabulary was used.
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 9:34 am
    Oh my God, i love tree hugging bears!


    - MalverdeAl100 August 27, 2012, 10:11 am
    would this make them them hippies of the animal kingdom?
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 11:17 am
    sorry, kinda confused,
    by calling the sport of football as football you think i'm being rebelious and 'going against the grain'?
    it is called football all over the world, not just by me. i respect that in America you have American football and so you call it soccer, but calling it football is proper vocabulary :P supose you could say that if i were to call it 'footy' that wouldn't be proper, but football is :L
    - Fail4424 August 27, 2012, 11:36 am
    Its is true it is called football all over the world. Just like its true its not called hand egg all over the world, American Football would be the correct word. Use any words you like but know this, soccer is not a term from the USA, it is a term from Europe.
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 12:16 pm
    i know all of that
    not sure you're aware the handegg thing is a joke? well, it's a joke :D
    now you know can we please move on and drop this pls? ffs i really didn't expect a post which is meant to be about funnies to get about 100 comments with people arguing over a little name, WHICH WAS A JOKE!!!!
    - Fail4424 August 27, 2012, 12:31 pm
    No I was not aware of the joke. Sarcasm does not transfer well to text.
    - johnecash August 27, 2012, 2:54 pm
    Reply
  • 0

    i'd probably find this waaaay funnier if i wasn't massively left-wing :L

    *i know you're talking about politics, but i have no clue about anything political :S
    and what has that got to do with anything anyway?
    - Fail4424 May 19, 2012, 1:38 pm
    because i hate the idea of someone being paid a ridiculous amount of money for kicking a ball around when there are far better placesfor that money to be where it'll do a lot more good?
    - Bekenel May 19, 2012, 3:01 pm
    oh
    well, can't you drop those feelings when looking at some funny pictures? :P
    - Fail4424 May 19, 2012, 7:54 pm
    Let the free market decide what the value of something is, not opinion.
    - johnecash August 24, 2012, 9:26 am
    Reply
  • 0

    Lol, soccer. :P

    no, football :P
    which handegg team do you support btw? :P
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 5:55 pm
    The GB Packers ! :)
    - casper667 August 24, 2012, 6:33 pm
    the (team) Great Britain Packers? as in team GB from the olympics :P WOOOP!!
    aw but no worries then, i was talking to some American's online a while ago, but i've never heard of them
    are they by any chance rivals of the red socks?
    - Fail4424 August 24, 2012, 6:36 pm
    NO Green Bay Packers! lol And they are rivals with the chicago bears.
    - casper667 August 25, 2012, 3:31 am
    Reply
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