Just to clarify, this is a joke.
Picture it now, rolling hillsides covered in an ethereal haze, with vast forests painted the deepest of greens. This is England.
Picture it now, rolling hillsides covered in an ethereal haze, with vast forests painted the deepest of greens. This is England.
Is this not the epitome of near indescribable beauty? Is this not the land of awesome? England, to put it simply, is a concentrated dose of mind-boggling intensity that no country can parallel.
You see this man? This, sir or madam, is David Beckham. He is England's modern man. Just look at that steely one thousand-yard stare, or the definition of his rugged jawline. If he asked to sleep with your wife, you would say yes.
And who's this lad, I hear you ask. This, is Lord Admiral Horatio Viscount Nelson I. With a name like that, it's no wonder that he was raking in the gash. It was even said that if women went within a 300 yard radius of him, they risked pregnancy. That is potency.
There's also the small matter of the English language. Yeah, the one which 27% of the world posses the ability to speak. What's that America? Sorry I can't understand you? Yes, you don't have you're own language and, sadly, you have degraded ours. But that's ok, because we still have words like 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', 'floccinaucinihilipilification' and 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. Suck on that.
Ah, yes, football. Not soccer. Football. The greatest game ever invented in the history of the world - fact. Now, while some may choose to contest this, calling it a game for 'sissies', in it's earlier years, to play football was to risk one's life. Pitches spanned entire cities and people would be crushed in the melee as hundreds of people on either team competed to win. But what about America's past time, that of 'baseball'? Yeah, we invented that too.
Now for the matter of history. In England's span of existence, lasting over 2,000 years, it has seen the rise and fall of many an empire, and yet it has been invaded... four times. We, on the other hand, have invaded in excess of 200 countries. The remnants of our once dominant empire can still be seen today, with countries such as New Zealand, Australia and even Canada still recognising our queen as their own.
To conclude, England is the superlative form of all countries. We not only took part in history, but we made it, continuing to do so. And, we generalised tea. FUCK YEAH!
To conclude, England is the superlative form of all countries. We not only took part in history, but we made it, continuing to do so. And, we generalised tea. FUCK YEAH!
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Posted: 2011-05-31 09:47:55
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But since I live in the area of Germany with the most rain I wouldn't mind :D
Yeah a lot of people I know have needed braces and my brother and sister were gonna have them but chose not to get them. I'm quite proud of my teeth :D
That's hilarious :')
now as for Lord Admiral Horatio Viscount Nelson I ummmm why bring him up at all? He was indeed a figure head during the napoleonic wars but he is no longer an issue now. It's fine to point out you have a rich history but many other countries also have that. take this guy
I'm sure you know who he is because he was the one who lead a bunch of farmers with zero military experience against the most powerful empire in the world and kick them out of a now great country.
now england has indeed been a part of nearly all the worlds history and i hope that it is for a very long time. but don't forget that among the good that they have caused they have also contributed many bad things to this world. among them oppression slavery and many many other things. so let's not forget that.
now on to the least important issue which you seem to think utterly defines your nation. football. now I am american and i particularly enjoy watching football myself when i can. but i will never say that it is the toughest sport around and is certainly not my favorite. now based on your argument you seem to think it's the greatest sport in the world which i don't agree with in recent years.
mainly due to crap like this which is running rampant through out the sport
a real man doesn't bitch about every little bump he gets (or in some of these cases don't get). simple as that. now i do say there are some great amazing players who do take the sport seriously but when this crap is happening all the time well you can see the argument about about them being prissy little bitches coming to light. i do like the sport but this is ridiculous. no baseball, football (american), hockey, or boxer does that crap so why should they? (note these sports are NOT examples of american sports just a list of sports that don't have crybaby bitches through out them). DO NOT get me wrong here i still love the sport but this crap makes it very hard to defend liking it sometimes. also if your going to say how great football is don't use a picture of Asian girls playing the sport use a real picture or better yet a video of highlights or something. don't degrade your argument by posting that just to try and use it to influence the guys with it.
oh and lets not forget this one great moment in sports history >:)
(sorry it's in spanish but it had the best quality)
also along the lines of football david beckham= pussy bitch who i would fucking destroy before letting him touch a girl i was dating.
now as for that argument about soccer being dangerous. yes it is but it is an inherent risk that comes with the sport. these risks are not as great as those in contact sports but they are there and i will not contest that. but in other sports the risks are much higher hence the extra precautions. we won't allow people to go around paralyzed for the rest of their lives when it was possible to prevent it.
so next time don't describe england as the greatest country ever.it has it's flaws just like all the other countries of this world. now if you'll excuse me i have to go watch the bruins destroy the canucks later. good day to you sir.
p.s i apologies if this does seem mean but there it is not necessary to insult another country while saying you are proud of your own. just state your pride and move on otherwise people will rush in to defend the places they know and are proud to be a part of aka US citizens.
I was trying to make the post as tongue in cheek as possible.
fuck yea, we got the best army
i dont know about you, but a ship which cannot be detected
seems like a pretty useful asset, now think a ship which cannot be seen loaded with missiles and covered in guns, scared shitless, yes as at night it could be behind you and you wouldnt know, untill you are taken of guard and have torpedo's firing up your ass
and i know what i would rather live on, a sub is a coffin only underwater
But apart from that I love the USA :)
Oh, and about the language thing? You guys are the ones who's accent degraded. I'm not being mean, it literally degraded from a linguistic perspective. You see, British accents used to sound a lot like many American accents do now. You guys changed, not us. Don't believe me? Research it, the findings are out there.
Seriously though enough with this shit man.
Yes England has beautiful land, so does America. Ever heard of the Grand Canyon?
You mean England has a sports star??? Whoop-di-fuckin-doo so does almost any other country.
I don't even know what to say about the old guy, that is just ridiculous.
Really? You're going to bash America because of English? Last time I checked you can understand us perfectly fine (I sure hope you can read this)
And as far as "Football" or Soccer is concerned as being tough
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REALLY tough guys
Yes England's military has been very influential throughout history, nearly anyone who has been through school knows that.
But seriously It's perfectly fine to be proud of your country, but don't be an ass and bash another country to make your country seem better.
/endrant
I took this seriously as well, if it was a joke then by all means sorry.