Eating Flies

Eating Flies----THE OATMEAL
When I was in elementary school we used to play this game where we'd stretch out our arms, open our mouths, and run around the schoolyard making sounds like airplanes. The game was appropriately called "airplanes," and it was pretty goddamn awesome.

airplanes - eating flies

It stayed awesome, in fact, until the day a horsefly flew into my mouth and went down my throat. I spent a good 30 seconds trying to hawk it up, meanwhile it buzzed, squirmed, and had what I imagined was some kind of insect dance party inside my esophagus.

fly - eating flies

Eventually, it shot out of my mouth and flew off to live what I imagined was a charmed life
spit - eating flies

For the remainder of the school year, however, my classmates referred to me as "that kid who ate a horsefly" rather than my first name.
laughing - eating flies

Since then, I've often fantasized about going back to elementary school and pounding handfuls of flies into the mouths of all those moon-faced little brats.
revenge - eating flies

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Reply Attach
  • 2


    c-c-c-c-combo breaker!
    - gemie89 November 3, 2010, 6:56 am
    oh shi-
    - castlewarsisawsome January 14, 2011, 12:17 am
    Oh no not the snip-
    - Ertrov June 22, 2011, 8:53 pm
    For fuck sa-
    - miketehpope June 22, 2011, 9:27 pm
    Why didn't you te-
    - TexBex June 23, 2011, 5:53 am
    ▲ ▲
    - SkinnyBill June 23, 2011, 6:17 am
  • 1

    Worst still, up ones nose.

  • 1

    And for things like this is why I love The Oatmeal

  • 1

    3:). I imagine that too. Hahaha. Elementary school was particularly awful.

  • 1

    Should I laugh? Oh hell, LMAO

  • 0

    That kid likes TMNT! He's my new hero!

    • Disco
    • August 24, 2010, 10:30 am
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