EXTREMELY Drunk!

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly.

"How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

mug of beer 903

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  • 2

    A couple are celebrating their 25th anniversary when the husband asks his wife: "Dear, I love you so much, and to honour our special day I want to give you whatever you want. Just name it".
    The wife thinks a little bit and then says: "Well, actually I do have this sudden urge for some snails..."
    So the husband leaves for the local market and buys a lot of snails.
    On the way back he sees his mates in a bar, they invite him in for a pint. One pint turns to two then three and he ends up on a major session for a few hours. Suddenly he sees this bucket of snails waiting to him near the entrance and remembers that his wife is still waiting.
    He starts running like crazy carrying the bucket in his arm. seconds before his angry wife opens the door he hears her nervous steps and drops the bucket, so that all the snails are scattered around the floor.
    When his wife opens the door and sees him with all the snails, he says:
    "Come on boys, just a few more steps, you can make it..."

    • Math
    • August 12, 2010, 2:54 pm
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  • 1

    i just relized that......hes HANDICAP

    • Smiley
    • August 12, 2010, 2:55 pm
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  • 1

    Oh! I had to read that twice before I understood it!

    Reply
  • 1

    I'm sorry I'm half asleep here, point?

    Reply
  • 1

    If I have to explain it.....

    • Math
    • August 13, 2010, 3:21 am
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  • 1

    i understood. Epic manoeuvre on the Man's part.

    Reply
  • 1

    Cheers mate! I knew it wasn't difficult! (not saying you're simple)

    • Math
    • August 13, 2010, 6:01 am
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  • 1

    lol. To think on the spot like that while drunk. He is a genius.

    Reply
  • 1

    GOD DAMMIT!! I just got it, I kept thinking the wife said 2 more steps

    Reply
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