We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
That Little Triangle
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Michael Jackson,
You really should have become a Catholic Priest. The pay isn't great, but the benefits....
Sincerely, The Pope
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Sincerely, The World
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
You did what?!?!?! I said I hate JUICE!!
Sincerely, Adolph Hitler
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game....
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
How did you get away with the kids sitting on your lap trick?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson
Dear Ugly People,
Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin Beiber
Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?
Seriously Going To Hell
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now?
Leonardo Di Caprio
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
GET BACK TO WORK!
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
At least you get picked up...
The Girls of Jersey Shore
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
i think they are from http://dearblankpleaseblank.com