Dear Mom

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

  • Dannyl
  • December 18, 2009, 3:18 am
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  • 7

    Daughter award of the year!

    • xdvx
    • December 18, 2009, 3:44 am
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  • 3

    Way too funny...I need to do this for my next report card XD

    Reply
  • 2

    Haha! I love this girl's creativity. :p

    Reply
  • 1

    epic win
    I might do that right now

    Reply
  • 1

    Win for her. I'd love to see that happen to someone.

    Reply
  • 1

    Super Win! :D

    • Gavin54
    • December 18, 2009, 11:23 am
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  • 1

    Cleaver girl

    Reply
  • 1

    lol

    Reply
  • 1

    holy crap, she's my hero. I'm definitely using this on my parents, they will flip the fuck out

    Reply
  • 1

    read this b4, but its awesome. +3

    • gwa2003
    • December 18, 2009, 5:33 pm
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  • 1

    EPIC!!!

    Reply
  • 1

    lol i just gather supplies prier to the event and baracade my self in my room for a few days and so far its worked

    Reply
  • 1

    PERFECT!!!

    Reply
  • 1

    This chick is awesome lol

    Reply
  • 1

    mom got pwned

    Reply
  • 1

    I might do that... except for college.... *sigh*

    • DocSir
    • December 27, 2009, 8:18 pm
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  • 1

    haha funny post lol

    Reply
  • 1

    Clever daughter that one is

    • peace
    • January 10, 2010, 2:27 pm
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  • 1

    Hahahaha! Awesome!

    Reply
  • 1

    lmao greatest thing ever!!!!!

    Reply
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