Customer of the Week

Customer: *on the phone* “I know you aren’t tech support, but I have an easy

Me: “Ok…”

Customer: “How do you make the @ symbol…you know, for the email?”

Me: “You hold the shift key and press 2.”

Customer: “Won’t that just make a capital 2?”

Me: “…”


(A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”


(I worked at a upscale grocery store. We had recently ordered new price labels for the shelves and some of them had come in with the wrong price. We had turned these tags backwards on the shelves so that they could not be seen by the customers to prevent confusion.)

Customer: “Excuse me, son.

Me: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “The milk is marked a different price than this tag says.”

Me: “I am sorry about that ma’am, those are new tags and some of them have old prices on them. If you give it to me I’ll take care of it.”

(Customer hands me the tag, I place it on the mount backwards so it cannot be read without removing it.)

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “We have been placing all the incorrect tags backwards on the shelves so that when the manager does his walk around he can know which ones he needs to re-order.”

Customer: “Well it was like that before. That’s why I turned it around.”

Me: “Ahh… I’m sorry for the confusion. These tags are backwards because they are incorrect. The price marked on the items is the correct one.”

Customer: “But I want the price on the tag, it’s less.”

Me: “Ma’am there is only one cent difference.”

Customer: “Yes, and I want it for the cheaper price.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am I am only a clerk, I can’t change the price for you. If you would like, I can get the manager.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You have to give me the cheaper price. I can’t afford to be nickel and dimed by you thieves.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, I will get the manager and he can give you the discount.”

Customer: “Good, cause I can’t afford to pay the higher price.”

(Manager has hear the commotion and walks up behind the customer.)

Manager: ”Ma’am, is there an issue?”

Customer: “Yes, your clerk is trying to charge me more for this than the tag says it should cost.”

Manager: “Ma’am, that tag was reversed because it was incorrect. How much is the difference so I can tell the cashier when you check out?”

Customer: “The shelf says $2.12, but the bottle says $2.13.”

Manager: “You called me over here over one cent? You have $400 worth of steaks in your cart, and you call me over here because you have to pay one cent extra for your milk?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Manager hands the customer a penny and walks off.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”


(An elderly woman well into her 70s comes through the check-out line with a single bottle of wine. I start to scan the bottle through.)

Customer: “Wait! Aren’t you going to check my ID?”

Me: “Er, no, ma’am, I don’t think it’s really necessary…”

Customer: “Well, that’s no good! You should check all ID if you’re selling alcohol.”

Me: “Well, okay. May I see your ID, please?”

(She hands over an ID card that is obviously fake.)

Me: “…ma’am, this card says you’re seventeen.”

Customer: “Oh, dear! You’ve caught me! I’m much too young to be buying this! It’s a good thing you were checking IDs. I’d better just go now! *skips out the door*

Me: “…”

  • Kakuzu
  • February 23, 2009, 1:49 pm
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Reply Attach
  • 3

    the last one got m to laugh for like five minutes straight

    m glad then i commented on this old post!
    - MissRandom November 20, 2011, 11:42 am
  • 1

    were those serious conversations?

  • 1


    • Darius
    • March 18, 2009, 10:45 am
  • 1

    yes no joking haha

    • Kakuzu
    • March 18, 2009, 12:56 pm
  • 1

    lol last one made my day

  • 1


  • 1

    if they were just random jokes they wudnt b funny, but in real life its just idiotic

  • 1

    for the love of humanity i hope not....

    • Mizuno
    • July 19, 2010, 5:45 am
  • 1

    I work in a grocery store and the 3rd one happened to me as well (wasn't really a penny difference was about 25 cents)
    The sign had been laying on the shelf FACE DOWN and there were signs for the current sale all over the shelves

  • 1

    worth a bump! hilarious! not enough rating! +3

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