# "We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."
# "Tattoos done while you wait."
# "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."
# "Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children."
# "If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachaise Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin."
# "Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else."
# "Stock up and save. Limit: one."
# "For Rent: 6-room hated apartment."
# "Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes."
# "TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets."
# "This house has been fully insulted."
# "Man, honest. Will take anything."
# "Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!"
# "Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
# "3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."
# "Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
# "Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops."
# "Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
# "Illiterate? Write today for free help."
# "Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."
# "Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating."
# "Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale."
# "And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
# "We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."