Classified Ads

* "Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel."
* "2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess."
* "Washing machine: free to good home."
* "No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent."
* "Great Dames for sale."
* "Lost Cocktail."
* "Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 yeards old. Hateful little dog."
* "German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free."
* "Free ducks. You catch."
* "1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer"
* "Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed."
* "Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days."
* "2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15"
* "For sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man) - $50"
* "Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks"
* "Hummels - largest selection ever. 'If it's in stock, we have it!'"
* "Georgia peaches, California grown - 89 cents lb."
* "Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour."
* "Vacation Special: have your home exterminated."
* "Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours."
* "Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!"
* "Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast."
* "Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it."
* "This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens."
* "Wanted. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers."
* "Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop."
* "Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person."
* "Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential."
* "Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty."
* "Mother's helper -- peasant working conditions."
* "Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months."
* "A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms."
* "Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00."
* "Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."
* "His and hers bicycles, $25 each or both for $55."
* "For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers."
* "Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."
* "Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory."
* "We'll move you worldwide throughout the country."

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Comments

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  • 2

    Hahahaha! the power of just missing even one single word. +3 man

    • 9dave
    • October 12, 2009, 1:12 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    thnx

    Reply
  • 1

    Talk about misplaced modifiers...

    Reply
  • 1

    Lol, these are good.

    • fellage
    • October 12, 2009, 10:16 pm
    Reply
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