I will not carve gods

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher’s lounge
I have neither been there nor done that

Funny noises are not funny

This punishment is not boring and pointless

I will not teach others to fly

I will not yell “She’s Dead” during roll call

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I do not have diplomatic immunity

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not re-transmit without the expressed permission of Major League Baseball

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

I will not hang donuts on my person

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

Rudolph’s red nose is not alcohol-related

Grammar is not a time of waste

I will not scream for ice cream

Pork is not a verb

“Non-Flammable” is not a challenge

I will not “let the dogs out”

Nobody reads these anymore

I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers

SpongeBob is not a contraceptive

Does any kid still do this anymore?

There is no such thing as an iPoddy

The capital of Montana is not “Hannah”

Four-leaf clovers are not mutant freaks

Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas

I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy