Best FML's

Today, I found out that my dad has been fucking a girl my age for a whole year. The girl is his ex-girlfriend’s daughter. We’re both fifteen. FML

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don’t think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML


Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can’t give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

Today, I found out my Mom is in Florida. How did I find out? It was her facebook status. When I wrote on her wall to ask her about it, she immediately deleted my post. So I posted again. Delete. And again. Delete. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis “Jesus”. For the last two hours he’s been continuously asking if I “want to be touched by Jesus” or will I “let Jesus in to spread his warmth.” FML

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I’m around because I’m “squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time.” FML

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  • 1

    hahahahahah lmao

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  • 1

    Ha nice

    • peace
    • February 21, 2010, 8:54 am
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  • 1

    LOL love the Jesus one

    Reply
  • 1

    damn these are funnay.

    Reply
  • 1

    i love these

    Reply
  • 1

    That must be a reeeeally crappy day :P

    • SuDoku
    • April 1, 2010, 11:42 pm
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  • 1

    lolz

    Reply
  • 1

    Epic fatherhood win number 1

    • Ruleb
    • April 2, 2010, 9:36 am
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  • 1

    lol jesus

    Reply
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