Sonette Ehlers, of South Africa (the rape capital of the world), has invented an anti-rape device that goes by the name, Rapex, and now appears to be set for production. I would have voted for the South African Tickler, but maybe from a marketing standpoint, having the word ‘rape’ in the name of the device is better.

The device is basically a female condom with teeth lining the inside that work just like the protective spikes in a parking garage… You can go in, but whatever you do, don’t back out. The teeth are angled so they allow penetration, but bite like a shark as the penis is removed, supposedly causing so much pain that it will give the woman a chance to escape. Further, according to Ms. Ehlers, the device will need to be surgically removed at a hospital, which will lead to the capture of the rapist.

The rape condom is highly controversial and has been criticized more than it’s been praised. Rape survivor, journalist and activist, Charlene Smith, says she believes the device will increase the victim’s risk of being killed.

Although I agree with Charlene and have concerns that rapists that are not completely incapacitated by the device may become so enraged that they will kill their victims, I also wonder how many husbands and boyfriends will be admitted to hospitals because of women that forgot to remove the contraptions.

From now on, I suggest that men start using the Rapex Test and always insert two fingers prior to penile penetration. Explaining to your doctor why you have a condom with teeth attached to your fingers might be embarrassing, but consider the alternative.

Note: If you are a rapist, please ignore the advice I’ve just given and follow this advice instead. Turn yourself in to the police if you have raped a woman, or make an appointment with a psychologist first thing tomorrow morning if you’ve been thinking about doing it, you sick fuck.

Rapex is scheduled to receive final approval next month and will be mass produced in China.