ASK A GRILL

Ok, i'll try to be as helpful as i can, and if you are unsatisfied with my food, you are unsatisfied.
However, if you are are REALLY unsatisfied, you can send me back to the manufacturer for your money-back.
If you just came here to ask something dirty, ask and i will answer.
And finally, if you use your grill regularly, and you love grilled foods, YOU, my sir, are awesome.


Cant be fucked answering any more. I made this as a piss-take of ask a girl.

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  • 5

    Is it wrong that I put my cat on the grill?

    • SuDoku
    • December 18, 2010, 2:03 pm
    Aslong as the cats fur doesn't stick to the grill you should be ok. Otherwise i'd start looking for a replacement.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:05 pm
    Okay. Well it's fur was pretty much gone by the end. How long do I cook Mr.Tibbles for?

    (This is a really unusual conversation) XD
    - SuDoku December 18, 2010, 2:06 pm
    Well it depends on your grills settings, on average a cat should be grilled for roughly 180 seconds.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:07 pm
    So cooking him for an hour was wrong?
    - SuDoku December 18, 2010, 2:10 pm
    As i said, depends on your grills settings. I'd take a guess however, that Mr.Tibbles is no more, and definately should not be eaten. I advise you to start organising a funeral, and putting the bread away.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:11 pm
    But it's nice bread. Damn it, Tibbles! I'll give him to the dog, no point going to waste.
    - SuDoku December 18, 2010, 2:12 pm
    How about we put something else on the bread? Take your dog for instance?

    1) Grab the dog, who cares how, its gunna be dead soon
    2) Ram its face on the grill, remembering to close the lid, the fumes may be toxic.
    3) Put the setting on maximum, and count to 340.
    4) Now remove the dog from the grill, place on the bread, and you should have a mighty fine sandwhich.

    Free recipe, courtesy of George Foreman
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:14 pm
    Omg, I've not laughed this much for ages XD
    - SuDoku December 18, 2010, 2:15 pm
    I thought that was foremans strategy in his boxing matches, just replace the word "grill" with "armpit"
    - drakengard85 December 18, 2010, 2:26 pm
    "ram its face on the armpit, remembering to close the lid, the fumes may be toxic."
    That sounds about right.
    - Jackylegs December 18, 2010, 6:47 pm
    Reply
  • 4

    So lets say "my friend" raped his grill...what should he do to get his grill to forgive him? He says he's really sorry and didnt mean to do it, he just got done watching Twilight(HORRIBLE mistake) and decided to go super saiyan on his grill. So what should he do?

    • Traylor
    • December 18, 2010, 2:20 pm
    Tell him, he and his grill should have an intervention. Get your friend and a couple of mates or family to speak to this grill, and tell it how he doesn't usually behave in such a manner. If the grill continues to act the way he does now, you may want to consider a differnet manufacturer.

    May i recommenend a George Foreman. We are open to rape.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:23 pm
    "my friend" has considered this and has decided to beat his old grill with a baseball bat and shoot it with a 12 gauge shotgun and throw it away and get the George Foreman. Thank you!
    - Traylor December 18, 2010, 2:26 pm
    A wise decision, a wise decision indeed. He shall not forget this day.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:28 pm
    Lets just hope the George Foreman does not speak out of line or ask any questions, or else the same fate will happen to him as what happened to the old one!
    - Traylor December 18, 2010, 2:30 pm
    A George Foreman grill doesn't even understand the word 'question'. Have no fear, you grill will treat you and your friend like the gods.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:31 pm
    This is good, good indeed. Me and my friends will go out and buy hundreds of George Foreman grills, RIGHT NOW! Let the raping begin!

    *I mean grilling...not raping.
    - Traylor December 18, 2010, 2:33 pm
    But please remember! Before any penetration, turn the grill of, and unplug it at the wall. George Foreman can not be held responsible for any genital incidents whilst the user rapes said grill.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:34 pm
    That was part of the problem last time. Does the George Foreman grill cool down fast? My friend might have a rape moment after makin' some food.
    - Traylor December 18, 2010, 2:36 pm
    If the grill is kept in good condition, and cleaned regularly, the average grill should have a cool down time from maximum temperature to room temperature of 42 seconds.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:38 pm
    42 seconds is very good. We are leaving now to get the George Foreman grill. Thank you good sir!
    - Traylor December 18, 2010, 2:41 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    Are you a George Foreman grill?

    Indeed, i am a George Foreman 12205 Entertaining Removeable Plates Grill - Silver, 6. You can find me and others like myself in local stores for around £80.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:16 pm
    Okay...can you tell me what that is in Canadian currency?
    - CrazyJay December 18, 2010, 2:19 pm
    Based on the current exchange rate this would cost you 125.407105 Canadian Dollars, but as we have to include other factors, such as the stores RRP, i can conclude you will be looking towards 140 Canadian Dollars.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:20 pm
    Sounds like a good deal to me! =D
    - CrazyJay December 18, 2010, 2:22 pm
    Indeed it is, but you may wish to shop around, as i know some retailers may be offering both the grill and a Geogre Foreman's Indoor Grilling Made Easy book for the limited time price of $150!
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:24 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    U STOLE MY POST :O
    hey but my burgers always have this burnt flavor even though i make them almost completely raw...help?
    XD JK XD

    You more than likely have a faulty grill. Report this to your nearest George Foreman Warehouse, and we will happily refund or replace your current grill.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:21 pm
    ok thank you but how much would i get?
    because i spent 1000$ on it *it has silver coating so...*
    - Icelandgirly December 18, 2010, 2:26 pm
    It appears you may have been scammed. Did you purchase said grill from a second hand store? No George Foreman grill has ever been silver coated. The silver coating would itnerupt with the grilling, and leave your food tasting of silver.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:27 pm
    no the grilling *bars* weren't coated, just the surface
    - Icelandgirly December 18, 2010, 2:28 pm
    The only thing i can deduce from what you are telling me, is that you are meerly blonde, and believe the 'shiny' surface to be silver, when infact it is chrome. I continue my belief that you have been scammed.
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:30 pm
    i am a natural blonde, but dyed my hair.
    but i went to a jewellery salesman with the grill and he confirmed that it was 99% silver...
    and i actually went to a few other jewellery salesmen that said the exact same thing...
    - Icelandgirly December 18, 2010, 2:33 pm
    Are you sure these 'salesmen' wern't infact blonde women?
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:34 pm
    no they were brunette men...
    - Icelandgirly December 18, 2010, 2:34 pm
    Before we take this incident further, i advise you to return to every salesman, and ask to see their birth certificate. And are you 100% sure they do not dye their hair?
    - pureawesomeness December 18, 2010, 2:36 pm
    i am pretty sure, i just went to the highest ranked jewellery inspector i could find in my area, and he said that it was pure silver coating, no doubt at all :/
    - Icelandgirly December 18, 2010, 3:22 pm
    ITS JUST A FREAKIN GRILL
    - Drenched December 19, 2010, 5:48 am
    IT HAS SILVER COATING!!!
    - Icelandgirly December 19, 2010, 6:51 am
    Reply
  • 1

    this is the first time i've seen something like this happen

    Reply
  • 1

    Are Human Feces Flammable on a Grill? How do i get my leg that country flavor?I need to know for a project, yes a project.
    full - ask a grill

    Human feces are infact flamable, so take care and prepare your grill before attempting to grill them. And for that country flavour:

    1) Grab a handful of rednecks
    2) Grind down into a paste
    3) Apply evenly to leg
    4) Grill leg for 600 seconds
    5) Grilled leg with a country flavour.
    - pureawesomeness December 19, 2010, 1:56 am
    Ok Great brb lunch.
    - TheComic December 19, 2010, 6:10 am
    Reply
  • 1

    i has a problem.
    My grill and i used to get along great.
    it loved being turned on, getting used and its fire was a luminous one of pure meat cooking holyness.
    but recently me and my grill started developing problems, sometimes it just wasnt in the mood to cook, sometimes it would tease me with a flame and as soon as i went to grill, it would shut off.
    And now, after tonight my grill wont work at all.
    please help me. i want my grill back

    TL;DR i threw my grill down a flight of stairs.

    Did you throw your grill down the stairs due to suspicisions of it being pregnant? If so it is your own responsibilitie for not taking precautions.
    - pureawesomeness December 19, 2010, 1:48 am
    no. it just started acting up. not knowing its place as a grill.
    - xRAYZ0Rx December 19, 2010, 6:51 pm
    Reply
  • 1

    how many 12-gauge shotgun shells is it safe to put on a grill before it detonates?

    • Bekenel
    • December 18, 2010, 11:57 pm
    Well seeing as a 12-gauge shotgun shell has roughly 18.5" diamteter of each lead ball, and the average George Foreman grill is 360x365mm, we can safely assume that approximately 320 shotgun shells will fit. As our grills our detonate proof, you should be safe with 320.
    - pureawesomeness December 19, 2010, 1:53 am
    what if i want it to detonate?
    - Bekenel December 19, 2010, 4:17 am
    Reply
  • 1

    Haha I remember this as a spoof of "Ask a Girl"
    Do you think that thin or thick burgers are better for grilling?

    *irritating bump* xD

    Reply
  • 1

    So...lets say I decided to get a bit "intimate" with a grill and accidentally bumped the button that turns the grill on... Hypothetically speaking, my "parts" are a bit fried onto the grill... should I (hypothetically) go see a doctor? Im (hypothetically) having a really hard time getting the entire grill into my car. Hypothetically speaking, what should I do?

    I try to avoid this situation at all costs. That's why i fuck toasters.
    - CaptinCrunk November 6, 2011, 2:35 pm
    Reply
  • -2

    Don't try and bump your posts this way. People don't like it and they'll just get downrated. Wait for people to find them in their own time... It's not all about getting recognised and points you know..
    - SuDoku December 18, 2010, 11:21 pm
    lol ok XD
    - Icelandgirly December 19, 2010, 1:42 am
    Reply
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